This week’s Hart of Dixie episode, “Bachelorettes and Bullets,” or as I like to call, the episode with Justin Hartley, brought several secrets to the surface and shook up a lot of relationships in Bluebell.
Before I start gushing about how great it was to have Justin Hartley in the episode, there are some key storyline plots to get into.
When we last left Bluebell, George saw Lavon kissing Lemon outside the Rammer Jammer or at least, he was pretty sure that’s what he saw. This episode opened with him standing in the same spot, trying to decide if his eyes were playing tricks on him or not. He enlisted Zoe and Wade’s help to reenact the scene without actually telling them what they were doing which led to Zoe and Wade standing very close together and all the fangirls like myself squealing at their TVs. But the moment was quickly broken and Wade reminded George that they were going hunting for his bachelor party, which George was less than thrilled with, but couldn’t say no to.
But George wasn’t the only one having a party that weekend. It was also Lemon’s bachelorette party that she had put in the hands of her teenage sister and Magnolia was not pleased that Lemon wanted a spa weekend and a girls’ night in the hotel suite filled with movies and makeovers and the most boring party ever. Lemon was thrilled with her sister’s planning until a party bus showed up along with Annabeth and the other belles. It turned out that they had a surprise for Lemon and she was not happy.
Meanwhile, Zoe was at her office patching up a patient (Justin Hartley)’s wrist and explaining to him that she hates small towns because everyone knows everyone else’s business and she was done being in the business of knowing people’s business. He’s quick to point out that he doesn’t live there and he introduces himself as Jesse. Zoe finally takes a good look at him and sees how hot he is and adorably fumbles over her own name a few times and then asks how he hurt his wrist. Jesse explains that he was doing ninja things like antiquing and murdering and then he asks her to have lunch with him. She tells him that having lunch with a ninja was on her bucket list and agrees. It was an adorable scene and I’m not at all biased (I’m lying. I’m completely biased. Look at my bio).
Anyway, George shows up next to tell Zoe the truth about what he thought he saw. Zoe does her best to cover for Lavon and tells George that it’s just not possible and maybe Lavon was just whispering in her ear or they were just talking close. Zoe demonstrates this and I guess this was a moment for George and Zoe shippers, but I don’t know any, so let’s move on. As soon as George left, Zoe placed a frantic call to Lavon, warning him that George saw and told him to call her right away.
Lavon was at the Rammer Jammer with Wade, who had a magic remedy for Lavon’s hangover. (Wade is the best). Jesse arrives for his date with Zoe and he and Wade greet each other very tensely. (I’m going to pause here and let everyone take the time to picture Justin Hartley and Wilson Bethel on opposite sides of the bar looking intense. You’re welcome). George shows up and there’s some tension between him and Lavon. Wade doesn’t pick up on it and suggests that Lavon join them for the bachelor party. Neither man is happy, but they awkwardly agree and leave for the trip right before Zoe shows up looking for Lavon.
Poor Jesse assumes that she’s there for their date and he gives her a flower and wants to talk, but her head is clearly not in it since she keeps looking at the door. Jesse keeps telling her that they can reschedule and Zoe tries to pay attention to him and he admits he’s not a ninja. He told her what he really did and I heard the words “eco” and “ocean” but I have no idea what he was talking about and does it really matter? Zoe finally tells him that she’s looking for Lavon and Jesse explains that he went hunting with George and Wade and when Zoe realizes there are guns involved, she asks Jesse to take her to Lemon’s.
Zoe fills Lemon in on the situation and she’s rightfully panicked. Zoe tells her that she has someone who can show them where the guys are and asks Lemon what she’s going to do about her party bus. Lemon just looks at her and then the two of them are on the bus as Lemon explains that they need to make a stop. Jesse is also on the bus in the midst of all the women, wearing one of the pink t-shirts they had specially made for the party. It was hilarious. While Lemon is distracted with Zoe, Magnolia confesses to Annabeth that she bought some party favors that Lemon would not be amused by including edible fruit-flavored undies. Next came the cop stripper and again, the look on Jesse’s face was priceless as Zoe and Lemon both cringed.
While the girls and Jesse were on the bus, the guys were setting up camp and Tom had snuck in first and blew up all their ammo since he didn’t believe it was right to hunt. No one was happy about it and Wade sent George and Lavon into the woods together to gather firewood. The party bus rolled up and Lemon got out to find George followed by Zoe and Jesse. Wade was not happy to see Jesse with Zoe and demanded to know what she was doing with his brother. (I guess this was supposed to be an OMG! Twist! Moment, but anyone who could see the resemblance between the two men had to know the casting agents would have been insane to pass up that opportunity).
Wade and Jesse have some major issues between them. Jesse left Bluebell to fight in the war which is totally honorable, but that meant Wade was left behind to take care of their dad. Jesse also came back into town and bought Crazy Earl a car for his birthday, something Wade was quick to point out the town drunk did not need. Then, there was the Zoe issue and Wade denied that she was a part of the problem but Jesse knew better than that. He offered to step aside since Wade clearly likes Zoe and Wade shouted at him that Zoe was just as spoiled and snobbish as he was and they were perfect for each other. Of course Zoe showed up just in time to hear every word.
As Lavon and George trekked through the forest, George suddenly became a lawyer and more or less goaded Lavon into admitting that he’d kissed Lemon the night before. Lavon was being the awesome guy that he is and tried to take all the blame. He explained that he was drunk and he’d always had a crush on Lemon, but it was all on him. George was furious and started yelling at him and Lemon stopped him and said they needed to talk. George was confused and Lemon finally came clean about the affair.
I don’t doubt the writers wanted this to be the big moment that we should all feel sorry for George, but all my sympathy went to Lemon and Lavon. Lemon apologized to George, told him that she was in a bad place because of her mom and swore that it was over and it would never happen again. George told her that they were over and walked away. Magnolia overheard the entire thing and comforted her sister, offering to help her sister cancel everything wedding related. But Lemon dried her tears and assured her sister that she would be marrying George Tucker.
Zoe found Wade packing up his car and asked him if he really thought those things about her. He looked her right in the eye and told her that he did. He pointed out since she came to town; she’d fallen for a vet, a lawyer and whatever ocean thing Jesse did for a living. He pointed out that they all had money and even though Wade wasn’t coming right out and saying it, he made it pretty clear that he knew he couldn’t compete. Jesse asked Zoe if she was finally ready for their date since he was starving. He admitted that the only thing he’d eaten were some edible undies that he’d found on the ground. Zoe told him that she didn’t think it was a good idea and Jesse saw her looking at Wade and he understood.
I wish the episode had ended there, but there was a final scene where Zoe returned home and found George waiting for her. She apologized for lying to him and he basically told her that she wasn’t his friend and then he stormed out. She watched him go and then glanced over at Wade’s place just in time to see all the lights go out.
I’m not going to talk about the previews for next week. Instead, I want to once again praise Wilson Bethel for stealing the show. Wade has to be the most complex character in Bluebell and each week there are more layers revealed and Wilson’s acting continues to be flawless. Jaime King is also fantastic as Lemon, a character I did not love at first, but who I continually feel for week after week. Now that we’ve settled that, who can we talk to about making Jesse a permanent fixture in Bluebell?