Reviews

‘American Horror Story Coven’ Season Finale Review: ‘The Seven Wonders’

Michele K. Short/FX

Well, we did it.  We made it to the season finale of AHS Coven.

While the road to the end was paved with plot holes, ridiculous amounts of fake blood, and wasted acting talent, the season finale was surprisingly cohesive. Granted, it was a little dull, but this is a show that constantly tries to out-gore itself, so anything not involving gallons of fake blood seems slow.

 

The contest of “The Seven Wonders” commences to find the next Supreme, with each of the young ones trying to prove they fit the bill. Turns out, none of them are because Cordelia is. It actually makes sense because she IS the daughter of the most powerful Supreme, but it’s very ‘meh’ and I say this as a Cordelia fan. She gets to continue Mrs. Robichaux’s Finishing school, and protect the next generation of witches while Fiona lives all of eternity in some fishing shack with The Axeman, courtesy of Papa Legba.

In other news, there was no Kathy Bates or Angela Bassett in this finale, there are no words for this failure…seeing the opening Stevie Nicks number helped, but didn’t heal that wound.

The Seven Wonders

I’ve been looking forward to the young ones mixing it up to prove who is the next Supreme for weeks, mainly because I’m a sucker for a throw down and it would be fun to see the actresses mix it up. As I guessed, it was fun, but oh so rushed. Ryan Murphy had all season to play out who was the Supreme, instead we got 30 minutes of the competition that propelled the entire season.

All of the girls passed the first couple of challenges, including Madison, unfortunately. Misty, however, was the first to fall when she failed to return before time ran out of the hourglass. She’s now stuck killing/reincarnating/re-killing that frog for all of eternity, while I question, ‘Is this who really bit it first? Really?’ Technically, the next one to die was Zoe, because she’s clumsy and slow and impaled herself on the fence while playing witch tag.  Just by Darwinism, she cannot be the next Supreme. Fiona did not eradicate the witch hunters for the coven to be led by someone this dumb.

Queenie can’t breathe life back into Zoe, so that takes her out of the running for Supreme, leaving only Madison. WHY?? She proves she can bring things back to life with the fly scene, and then promptly refuses to bring Zoe back to life because she’s a bitch. Plain and simple. So basically, there’s no Supreme because that woman has to complete all seven challenges and Madison refuses. Kyle loses his mind when Madison refuses to bring Zoe back – especially since Zoe made sure to help Madison when Fiona tried to behead her – and chokes her to death. In related news, here’s where I take back everything bad I’ve ever said about Kyle and become his biggest cheerleader.

The New Supreme

Murphy makes his normal AHS jump and all of a sudden focuses on Delia, and her unrecognized powers. Long story short, Delia completes all seven challenges and becomes the new Supreme of the coven…and magically gets her eyes back. Like I said, it was a jump, sort of. She does have Fiona’s royal blood in her and she knows the history of the coven, but now all of a sudden she realizes her power? Meh. Sarah Paulson, however, looked radiant.

Delia going on national television to tell the coven’s story was just weird. It’s totally ok for the school to be public now? They just live out in the open with ‘regular’ people after centuries of hiding? Hello, True Blood. While I rolled my eyes at most of this I did enjoy the closure of Delia and Fiona.

From the beginning, this complicated relationship was present, so the finality of Fiona seceding the last remnants of her power to the daughter she never really anything for was nice. On the other hand, Fiona is stuck in some fish shack reliving every day with the Axeman for all of eternity because Pape Legba won his deal with Fiona. THAT’S how leave the baddest HBIC on tv?? Sigh.

In the end, the symbolism of ‘barren’ Delia now having a house full of children by way of her students was sweet. Shoutout to Source Amber’s comparison to whatever school Harry Potter attended because that’s exactly what Mrs. Robichaux’s Finishing School becomes. Also, somewhere in there, Myrtle burned at the stake to keep Delia’s reputation intake and wrap up the last of the loose ends.

All in all, the actual finale episode was pretty solid. I enjoyed having all of the people living under the same roof interacting with each other, because it makes sense. The whole season, however? I’m still irritated by the lack of material for some of the most powerful actresses of movies or tv.

Murphy had a chance to bring the house down with Angela Bassett, Kathy Bates, and Jessica Lange. I wish I could say they did, but they can only do so much.  I enjoyed them on my screen, but their storylines were jumbled, confusing, and more often than not, eye roll worthy. If all three actresses can’t sell the audience something, it ain’t them.

I don’t know that I’ll be watching the next season of AHS religiously because I can’t get sucked into four great episodes of storytelling followed by nine more episodes of ‘wtf is going on?’. I will say I never tire of seeing New Orleans, so well done to Murphy for having the best setting for me of all the AHS seasons.

What did you think? Did everything tie up nicely for you or did it feel rushed?

About the author

Angela Romack

Angela Romack is writes what you’re thinking about when it comes to your favorite TV shows. If you don’t agree, that's fine. She's okay with being right. Follow her on Twitter at @AngelaMRomack.