Reviews

‘Sons of Anarchy’ Review: ‘Smoke ‘Em If You Got ‘Em’

Nazis, and Mayans, and Grim Bastards oh my! Tonight saw alliances formed, and the beginning of the end for one organization. Throw in some heroin, a good ole fashion fistfight, and a drive by with a hint of a shootout, and you got yourself a typical day in the life of a Charming gang member. Let’s take a look at the highs and lows of tonight’s episode:

CameHO: Why is Lea Michele here? More importantly, that’s the last time we are seeing her, right? See I have more questions than I have rotten comments, and that’s just plain annoying! At least she didn’t sing, but I don’t get what her serving coffee to crazy ass Gemma really did for the episode. Also, Gertie? No offense to all readers named Gertie, but…Gertie? In an ironic twist, Marilyn Manson out cameho’ed Lea. At least he plays a funny Nazi to branch out while selling his “I hate black people” brand. Tully also plays a bigger role in the show being the leader of the Aryans, who Jax must align with to do business in Stockton. Marilyn: 1, Lea: 0.

Affirmative Action: This episode hit on racial relations as always on this show, but tonight it got a bit more progressive. Jax is considering breaking his charter tradition, and patching the Grim Bastards. This would be a big move considering there are no black members of SAMCRO. However, Jax is thinking about numbers, and the Grim Bastards loyalty has proven that they really deserve to be members of the club. GROUP HUG! ….and HAHAHA to the club welcoming black men when Juice was crapping his pants about this issue years ago.

Are You There Tara? It’s Me, Gemma: Gemma needs to pull her ass out of crazy and stop talking to Tara. She is dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. We’ve had enough of this imaginary friend bullshit where you two were besties at some point. IT NEVER HAPPENED! When Lea Michele is giving you side eye, there is a huge issue with you!  Also, don’t start confessing to random diner workers. It’s so tacky! Did Gemma think, oh hey I could have been a waitress with a kid if I just hadn’t gotten involved with that biker gang? No! No! She wasn’t thinking that, that’s why this was stupid! The two shared NO similarities. One was a decent human being (ewww to saying this about Lea) and the other is a huge rotten piece of shit who just happens to keep the leather industry afloat.

If talking to dead Tara wasn’t enough, Gemma also has to deal with near dead Unser. I say near dead but I have come to the conclusion this annoying motherfucker will never die. He’s up her ass to make a statement to the cops about what she saw the night Tara died. Great! More lying! When Jax hears Unser’s idea, he is all for it. He insists his mother make a report to stop Lin from getting a plea deal. Gemma now has to lie to the cops, and at least she is now on my side and hates Unser. Bye Wayne! Take your trailer and peace the fuck out!

Chibs/Althea/Yuck: I’m done with these two. You guys can stop now. Thanks.

SAMCRO vs. Nazis: Their fistfight was fun! And the club becoming more inclusive to other nationalities is really heartwarming in a world full of hatred. However….Kurt Sutter lost me tonight with his Newtown shooting throw away line. When Jax brings the dead bodies of Mark’s men as a sign of good faith, Leland responds, “you didn’t have to go all Newtown.” Not cool. Not funny. Not relevant when children were not killed. You did a great thing highlighting school shootings last season, but this line was unnecessary, and more importantly classless. No reason for it whatsoever other than for shock value. Have some respect.

Juice Dumb: I know I sound like a broken record, but just when you thought he couldn’t outstupid himelf, the braniac does it again! Juice robs store, Juice offers SAMCRO secrets to the Mayans for safe passage to Mexico, Mayans cannot believe his stupidity and turn him over to Jax. It’s not an algebraic equation. People tend to not trust people who are RATS!!! It’s like he hasn’t been in a gang for a decade! So Jax and the Mayans work out a deal. The Mayans want control of guns, and Jax wants them to give up their heroin to the Aryans. The Niners are splitting off from Marks, so if they ALL team up, they can get the guns away from August Marks and his crew, and thennnnnn the Mayans can have the guns, he Nazis can have the heroin, and then everyone else can commit crimes in peace and harmony!

Now, Juice has lost his cut, and the Mayans turn him over to SAMCRO. Will he die? Will he tell Jax everything Gemma did? Are they going to cover up his SAMCRO tattoo? OMG WHY ISN’T IT NEXT WEEK?!?!?!?! I cannot imagine the club letting him live no matter what he says or does.

GIVE NERO A BREAK!: Hasn’t Nero been through enough lately? I mean I used to get annoyed by the guy but now I want him to take his son and get the hell out of there! He loses Diosa, all his girls get killed, and now the Mayans are annoyed with him for helping SAMCRO double cross the Chinese. For this…he gets thrown in a closet. Yes it could have been worse, but what if he had to pee? He would have to have gone in a bucket! To make matters worse, he gets stuck in the same closet with Juice. Juice doesn’t spill Gemma’s secrets, but Nero suspects something is up since Juice showed up to the Mayans in Gemma’s car. Nero figures out that Gemma was helping Juice, but he has no idea why. Will she tell him? She’s pretty close to breaking down and Nero always calls her out on her shit. I just want him to cut the bitch off as soon as he can and move, and take his money and his son and make every whore’s dream come true in another town where they can all live happily ever after in safe prostitution.

Will Juice die? Will Gemma confess to Nero? Will Juice tell Jax all of Gemma’s secrets? Will Marks retaliate for the death of his men? Will Wendy stop staring off into the distance every time she is in a scene and wondering why the hell she is still with the club? Will Unser move his dirty ass trailer off Gemma’s lot? Can he just DIE ALREADY? Find out next week on an all new Sons of Anarchy!

About the author

Amanda Drago

Amanda Drago is a writer at TVSource Magazine. Also known as “Hot Mess Mandy”, she's fan of sarcasm and snark with a Bachelor’s Degree in handling the “cray” and a Masters in real talk. Huge fan of soaps, reality TV, and really any well written show that can handle her short attention span. Usually the trashier the show, the better. Follow her on Twitter at @HotMessMandy