After last week’s comical episode, it’s back to the serious world of SAMCRO in this week’s installment of Sons of Anarchy.
Tara and Gemma are STILL getting along. Yay Jax loves us, yay we get to pass out on our sofas, yay we can get high with the kids around, and every part of this sentence is depressing. Gemma sees the newspaper and learns about what has happened to Roosevelt’s wife, Rita.
Pope and Jax meet up to discuss business. Jax gives Pope the fifty percent of the drug trade money Jax had promised him. Pope makes a counter-offer to Jax asking that he increase the amount of drugs he deals. Jax does not understand why Pope enjoys dealing in drugs when he has tons of money and there is so much risk involved. Pope coolly explains that he is a businessman and drugs are his number one business. For him, there is no risk. Pope. Is. God. Word. ::Drops microphone::
Unser checks in on Roosevelt, and they discuss the home invasions case. Unfortunately, Rita passes away as the two are talking. Rita, we barely knew you and your unborn baby.
Clay goes for his check up and learns that he is recuperating well. He does not even need the oxygen tank anymore. He lies to Juice and tells him he is not doing so good. He’s backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.
Clay runs into Unser at the hospital and asks about Rita. Unser tells him that Rita has just died and Clay thinks that is terrible. Clay pushes Unser for information on what he knows about the home invasions, insisting he thinks the Niners are behind it. Unser feels the attacks are personal, and the Niners have no involvement. Mmmmhmmm…
Gemma gets out of the shower and BOOM Carla is sitting at the table with a gun! Never trust a ho! She makes a phone call and shoots at Gemma when she tries to get away.
Jax proposes Pope’s drug deal to the club at the next meeting. Clay thinks it is a bad idea to get in deeper with Pope when they wanted out of the drug business. The club seems to be dividing, with the Nomads siding with Clay, and the rest of the club siding with Jax. In a close vote of 6 to 5, the vote passes the deal with Pope. When everyone gets up to leave, Clay notices one of the Nomads has scratches on his neck….the same scratches Unser had told Clay that Rita gave her attacker.
In other news, basic bitch Tara starts her job at the prison in order to get to Otto. Just to recap the previous season, Otto is a former SAMCRO member who turned on the club and will be testifying against them during their RICO trial. My issue with this whole thing is this: Otto is a crazy ass son of a bitch and Tara would not last a second with him. This has bad idea written all over it.
Carla is still holding a gun to Gemma when Nero walks in! So THAT’S who she called. Nero has no clue what is going on, and Carla asks them to get naked………………..What?
While I am still confused about the getting naked at gunpoint thing, it’s that time of year again folks….GANG LEADER UNITED NATIONS MEETING!! Jax tells the other leaders about his deal with Pope. After some back and forth, they all agree to it. That totally went better than most Senate meetings. Pope’s bodyguard tells Jax that they have heard nothing about the home invasions, but they DO have something Jax wants: the address of the jailer who picked Opie to die while they were in prison.
Meanwhile, Carla wants Gemma and Nero to have sex. What kind of freaky shit is this? Why is she calling him “sweet brother?” Why am I yelling at the television and oddly grossed out? Nero refuses as Gemma tearfully tries to perform oral sex on him. He demands that Carla just shoots him. She apologizes and says that she just wanted to go out watching him do his thing…..and then blows her brains out. WHATTTTTT????? And ewww how do you get brains out of a rug?
Turns out, Carla was Nero’s half-sister. Oh. Oh how trailer park is this? Not many women can say their brother was handsome and their pimp. So the bitch was cray cray, off her meds, and you know, in love with her half-brother. And you thought you had problems. Gemma offers to dispose of the body because clearly she did not give two shits about this lady.
SAMCRO confronts the jailer who arranged Opie’s death. When they grab him, his wife appears with a shotgun scaring the crap out of everyone. Tig kills the wife, and Jax asks for a pipe to teach this bastard a lesson.
Tara is able to see Otto (played by SOA creator Kurt Sutter). She explains who she is, but Otto does not care to listen. She wants him to reverse his testimony, but he will only do so if she gets on her knees and gives him a blow job. She immediately refuses to do it, and he immediately refuses to reverse his testimony. He also warns her to never visit again because he will do something horrible. Oh my God he will bite off her face, this guy is a psycho. Seriously, this bitch cannot handle Otto and this is bad news.
Gemma calls Clay to dispose of Carla’s body after Unser doesn’t pick up his phone. Clay agrees to do it for her and not tell anyone. That’s love.
Tig does not find a pipe but he brings Jax a snow globe that plays “It’s a Small World After All”……seriously the pipe would have been less painful. Can you imagine having to die to that song? The jailer cries that he is sorry, but Jax just winds up the globe. As the music plays the men circle him, and Jax proceeds to beat him to death with the snow globe. That shit was intense.
Pope and Jax meet up again and their drug deal is set. Pope warns Jax that the home invasions are from his own camp and were done to make him look bad. Why who on Earth would want to make Jax look bad? Mmmmhmmm….. Pope also tells Jax about how he has a bounty on the heads of all the men who want to kill him. So whoever kills these men get 5 million dollars….where do I sign up? And is Pope officially Jax’s Yoda? This is getting ridiculous.
Gemma runs into Unser at the hospital. The poor old bastard is jealous of Nero and Gemma. Jimmy Smits you are not. Sorry, but why did this guy actually think he ever had a shot? Gross. The bitch played you. He warns her that everyone can now see through her manipulations aka bullshit, and that she is going to die alone just like him.
Roosevelt tries to run SAMCRO off the road with his station wagon. I am slightly saddened he drives a station wagon. Whomp Whomp. He tells Jax he is going to crush his club, but Jax insists he just wants to be at peace with the man. Anyone want to bet how quick Roosevelt will go and blackmail Juice some more? Basic bitches are predictable.
Nero shows up at Gemma’s and runs into Clay who is also there waiting for Gemma. He tells Nero he cleaned up the body and can send him Carla’s ashes. Nero thanks him, but Clay wants to know what is really going on between Gemma and Nero. Nero says he really does not know…..and this bitch Gemma is just sitting at a bar doing shots because she’s sleeping with the whole trailer park.
Jax comes home and asks Tara how things went with Otto. SHE LIES and says that she has not seen Otto yet. WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU STUPID MORON? CAN YOU ALL HATE TARA NOW TOO? Ugh. While I have a glimmer of hope this bitch might get harmed, I find this all entirely annoying because she’s being a complete tool. Jax tells Tara things are going well business wise and very quiet. If this is quiet I cannot imagine what loud looks like. Apparently murder, drug deals, and near death make Jax feel spontaneous. He wants to go on vacation with Tara up to the cabin……alone. Ew. Who is going to watch the kids? Gemma?……….The kid would be safest with Tig at this point.
Random dude named Warren (OMG it’s Joel McHale!!!) buys Gemma a drink. If a guy ever called me mom at the bar he would have to buy me a shit load of drinks.
Juice drops Clay off at home and guess who is there? THE NOMADS!!! Clay is their leader!!! He arranged the home invasions!!!! THE SCUMBAG MOFO IS BACK! He is pissed at them because Roosevelt’s wife was not supposed to die. Mistake aside, Clay is back to being a major player and has put together a group of his own. Snap!
Will SAMCRO find out the Nomads are behind the home invasions? Is Clay finally going to pay for his crimes with his own life? Why is Joel McHale hitting on Gemma? Where was my weekly musical montage?!!! Find out next week on an all new Sons of Anarchy!