Tonight’s episode of “Hart of Dixie” was a mixed bag. On the one hand, there were some really fantastic, awesome scenes courtesy of George (yes, George) and Tansy as well as Lemon, Brick and Magnolia (Team Breeland!). Wade was flawless as usual and then there was Zoe. Oh, Zoe, how many different ways are there to say that Zoe is the absolute worst? Let’s talk about “Sparks Fly.”
Bluebell was having a bachelor auction and they stole a little piece of “Gilmore Girls” by having the women bid on picnic baskets created by the men (the Gilmores did it the opposite way, but still). Wade was still upset with Zoe after she reacted badly to George being fine with the fact that she was sleeping with Wade so he was keeping his distance from her. Zoe assumed that meant that he was tired of her (she used this amusement park analogy that just might have been the creepiest and/or most creative thing ever). But then Wade told Zoe the truth: he wanted to go on a date with her and suggested she bid on his basket.
It seemed like a reasonable request, right? Well Zoe freaked out like Wade gave her a ring and asked her to birth eight children for him. She consulted everyone who came in her path to get their opinion, but finally, Ruby broke it down for her and told her to either bid on Wade’s basket and move forward or don’t and then things will be over. Zoe still didn’t know what to do so she stood by as others bid (and seemed surprised by it! Hello, Zoe, other women in town can see how great Wade is). In a hilarious scene, Magnolia ended up bidding, even as Lemon ordered her to stop and just as Zoe was about to outbid her, the gavel came down and Magnolia won the date, which prompted Lemon to tell her that she was grounded.
Wade was understandably disappointed, but Zoe explained that she’d tried and then she was determined to get the date anyway. She had to negotiate with Magnolia and offered to do her homework, but Magnolia wanted more, including birth control when the time came. Zoe wisely told her ‘no’ and then offered to drive her to the Taylor Swift concert so Brick wouldn’t have to and Magnolia finally agreed. But then Zoe acted like she’d never met Wade before and actually pulled out a book of random facts so they’d have something to talk about. It was painful and awkward and not in an endearing way.
The adorable, endearing awkwardness was saved for George and Tansy. She showed up at his office early in the episode and George ended up dumping his coffee on his lap. Tansy apologized for not calling him back and explained that she was trying to get her dog back from her ex and needed his help. George couldn’t do much, but he used it to segue into the bachelor auction and how he was trying to impress a girl. Tansy didn’t realize that he meant her and suggested that he be less predictable, which sent George straight to Wade for help. George put together a basket that Tansy couldn’t resist bidding on and then she realized that he’d meant her all along and she turned red and it was so adorable.
George and Tansy had their date on the roof of a building and then Tansy suggested they go and kidnap her dog and for some reason, George didn’t take that literally. As they ran past Zoe and Wade, Zoe went on a tirade about random people ending up together and Wade explained that George and Tansy were dating. Obviously, Zoe was not happy with that and she went off on a different tirade about how two people that have nothing in common shouldn’t be together. Well that didn’t go over well with Wade, no matter how many times Zoe stammered that she didn’t mean them. Wade got up and walked away at that point and can anyone blame him, really? Zoe is the worst. She’s behaving like a teenager.
But thankfully, George and Tansy were there to save the episode. Tansy was prepared to break into a truck to get her dog back, but George wanted to be a gentleman since he was already a co-conspirator and he broke the window and hurt his hand in the process. So Zoe patched him up and seemed a little jealous (no one is here for you, Zoe!) and then the dog’s new owner showed up and fought with Tansy. George stepped up once again and used some fancy (totally made up) lawyer speak to make her see that Tansy was the dog’s owner. The other woman left, George and Tansy kissed and I drew hearts on my Trapper Keeper with their names in it. They were the best part of this episode.
The Breeland family was a close second. Lemon convinced Brick to be part of the auction and she said she would be too so that they could both move forward. Brick was apprehensive, but he agreed and then Lemon ran into that guy she met in the bar a few episodes back. He wanted another chance and mentioned an item that he had in his basket. Unfortunately, it was a popular item and Lemon ended up winning Lavon’s basket. Brick, meanwhile, ended up with that shallow woman George dated for an episode and she taught him about closet organization. But really, they ended up hitting it off and Brick seemed to be enjoying himself.
Lemon, however, was not. Lavon had set up a very romantic date for Ruby and poor Lemon had to suffer through it. Lavon seems completely clueless to Lemon’s feelings and accidentally rubbed salt in her wounds by mentioning that his relationship with Lemon is what made him realize that he could have a real, meaningful relationship with Ruby. Wow, Lavon, next time why don’t you just stab the woman? It would probably hurt less. Lemon is a trooper though and she made it through and then headed back to the Rammer Jammer to talk to the bar guy. Lavon headed back to his house and told Ruby that he loved her (Ugh).
The episode ended with Wade and Zoe staring sadly at each other from their porches before they each retreated into their houses. Honestly, at this point, it’s time to end this. I wanted Zoe and Wade to work, but Zoe constantly trampling all over Wade’s feelings has gotten old. It’s time to let him move on to Lemon someone who he can have a real relationship with and Zoe needs to be alone for awhile because she is clearly not mature enough to handle being an adult, let alone being in a relationship. She is officially the worst and since Ruby is still in town, that’s saying something.
Next week, Christmas comes to Bluebell and Zoe does something else to hurt Wade. Happy Holidays…