TV Recaps

'Sons of Anarchy' Recap: "Toad's Wild Ride"

The show returns with the big reveal that Clay is behind the home invasions. He has been the leader of the Nomads, ordering them to break into houses in Charming. However he did NOT want the Sheriff’s wife dead and is ripping these guys a new asshole for being stupid. He wants them to leave town before everyone realizes they are all working together. Too late, the dumb old guy is already on to you….

In other news, Gemma tapped Joel McHale!! Yes, he has a name but seriously, it’s Joel McHale.

Jax and Bobby pay a visit to Unser to see what he knows about the home invasions. They are a little ticked off he considers them suspects, but then consider the possibility of the Nomads being behind the crime. Unser tells Jax it has to be someone on the inside, and that he should be looking at the people who have something to gain if the club looks weak. Jax is also aware that Clay might be their ringleader……Seriously, how did everyone get so smart? It took them a year to find a kid in Belfast.

Gemma, who seems thankful her pee doesn’t burn, is shocked to see that Joel McHale has robbed her of her car, her cash, and let’s face it; whatever dignity she had left. Okay, there wasn’t much dignity, but if he could have stolen her extensions, he would have.

Frankie (or as I like to call him, “that jacked up Italian dude who was on Oz”) has decided to take Clay’s advice and head out of town. Jax tells Frankie he should stay in touch since he is close to catching the guys behind the home invasions. Frankie can tell that Jax is threatening him, and that he knows the Nomads are traitors. Unser also pays the other Nomads a visit. It’s only been five minutes, but they already hate him and all his annoying questions. Seriously for a character that has been dying for a while, can he go away now? He grates my last nerve.

Jax visits Nero to see how the new brothel is looking. It’s FANCY!!! Not for nothing, but when a brothel looks better than your place, you realize how unfair life is. Nero let’s Jax know that Gemma is in trouble. Jax does not know what happened, but he is already embarrassed by the situation. Gemma explains that her car got stolen….she just leaves out the whole sex with a younger guy part of the story. Jax notices the disheveled hotel room and is disgusted with his mother. Seriously, Gemma? Banana vodka? There are just some places you do not go….Now I am judging her.  To make matters worse, Gemma does not know the name of the guy she slept with. Well neither do we (Hey, Joel McHale, Heyyyyy). Jax looks like he wants to vomit on her and make her clean it up. Nero thinks Jax should go easy on her, because after all, she is his mother. I’m getting really sick of this excuse, the bitch is cray.

It only took seven episodes, but Clay and Tara finally have an awkward moment alone together. Clay holds a special place in my heart for trying to kill the bitch. Had he succeeded I might actually BE in love with him, but the bitch just lost function of her hand. Big whoop. Juice overhears the tension, and Tara saying that Clay is dead to her. Juice wants to know what’s going on, but Clay reveals nothing. Side note: If something bad happens to Juice because of all this Clay crap, and the club bullshit….MANDY WILL RAGE!

The Club catches up to Joel, and he tries to get away. A car chase ensues (yes, ANOTHER this season) with Nero and the guys going after Joel….whose ride is kind of janky. Joel tries shooting at the club, but misses them completely. Why does everyone have either really good aim or really bad aim on this show? Jax catches Joel, beats him up, takes his money, and poor Joel McHale has to walk home, but really sleeping with Gemma was punishment enough.

 Clay gets the head up that Unser and Jax are on to the Nomads, so he plans on having them meet him at Unser’s place to kill Unser. Okay, if they don’t kill him, can they at least remove his vocal chords, because the chain-smoking pothead dude who is dying is driving me insane?

Tara asks Bobby about visiting Otto with a care package. Let’s face it, you are totally going to have to give the bastard a blow job, you basic bitch. He doesn’t want pictures!! He wants the entire club miserable like he is. Why is this so hard for them to understand? Tara asks Gemma for her advice, and she suggests that she give him his deceased wife’s perfume because it was his favorite thing. Awww. I hope he takes the perfume, throws it on Tara and lights her on fire. Hey on this show, it could happen!

Gemma apologizes to Jax for her behavior. He forgives her. In all honesty, Gemma can shut the fuck up. I am sick of the same damn apology, when really, she’s just a miserable bitch who will never be happy.

Clay visits Unser. He places his gun on the table, as Unser won’t let go of his shot gun. While it appears Clay is somehow preparing to kill Unser, the old dude is on guard. When the Nomads arrive, Clay says that Unser was a good friend, and then proceeds to save his life as the Nomads prepared to shoot him. Clay and Unser kill the two Nomads, and Unser tells Clay to leave before the cops arrive. As Clay leaves, Unser is still wary as to whether Clay is to be trusted. So Clay has turned on his guys because he was about to get caught. Brilliant, but trying to pin it all on Pope….not his best idea.

Jax and Gemma find out what happened to Unser, and Gemma rushes over…..for the free pot. I really believe that’s the only reason she hangs out with the guy. He apologizes to her for yelling at her, but she thanks him for being the guy who tells the truth. Please don’t have sex with each other. Please don’t have sex with each other….Oh, eww. Now I am picturing it.

Jax and Tara are going to the cabin for their weekend getaway, regardless of the fact that life really sucks for everyone right now. The babysitter has cancelled on them, so Jax asks Tara if Gemma can watch the kids. Though reluctant, Tara agrees and calls Gemma to ask her to watch the boys. Gemma thinks Tara should trust her….as she slowly puts out the joint she was smoking. This has afterschool special written all over it! So Tara will be heading up to the cabin with Tig, while Jax will meet her there later after he takes care of some “business.” This vacation is a hell of a lot of work, and I love how Jax and Tara are bringing dates with them: Tig and Chibs.

Nero beat up Joel McHale. That’s all I got. I wonder if this will be on The Soup.

Juice wants to know what the hell Clay is up to. Clay had Juice drop him off at Unser’s place, and then the Nomads get shot. Tara hates Clay, Clay is carrying a gun, his oxygen tank is missing, and Juice is confused. Okay, Juice is always confused, but this time with reason. Clay lies to him and says he found out the Nomads were doing all this crazy shit.

Jax and Chibs ask Juice to leave, and Jax confronts Clay about the Nomads. Clay plays it off in typical Clay style, as if he would have to be a complete moron to try to pull something like that. He claims that he is not the devil that Jax sees him as, and that Pope is the real person behind everything. Jax looks like he is not buying the bullshit anymore, and says that the last Nomad standing (Frankie) will be the one to reveal the truth. When the truth is revealed, the club will deal with the real villain.

CUE THE MUSICAL MONTAGE!!!

Gemma packs the kids in her car to go home…and she is as high as a kite….and the kids have their seatbelts on…and this foreshadowing is seriously terrible….

Tara is at the cabin, with Tig outside on guard. Jax and Chibs are on their way to the cabin when a van pulls alongside of them and begins shooting. Jax ends up killing one of the shooters, who is revealed to be a black man. Great so this will confuse Jax even more because he will think Pope is behind it.

And of course Gemma, in her musical montage glory, is passing out at the wheel of her car and almost drives into an oncoming truck. She goes flying off the road and is last seen passed out at the wheel. Thomas is crying, while Abel is moaning as a tree has crashed into the car. Gemma seriously ruined the musical montage, and the bitch better pay for this.

Are the kids okay? What will Jax and Tara do after they find out Gemma was high behind the wheel? Who shot at Jax and will he confront Pope about his possible connection to the shooting? Is Joel McHale gone for good? Find out next week on an all new Sons of Anarchy!!  

About the author

Amanda Drago

Amanda Drago is a writer at TVSource Magazine. Also known as “Hot Mess Mandy”, she's fan of sarcasm and snark with a Bachelor’s Degree in handling the “cray” and a Masters in real talk. Huge fan of soaps, reality TV, and really any well written show that can handle her short attention span. Usually the trashier the show, the better. Follow her on Twitter at @HotMessMandy