Pretty Little Liars Recap: "Single Fright Female"

Spencer learned Paige has a past with Ali. Does this mean she’s A? Is Emily in trouble?

I’m back after surviving an awful, end of summer flu last week. Hence no recap, but let’s rehash what happened really quickly. Ella began dating the café owner. Emily kissed Maya’s cousin. Ezra and Aria fought about his past, and Ezra revealed that he’d found his formerly impregnated ex, Maggie. Wren gave Hanna the eye, but she told him it couldn’t happen. And Noel sent Spencer a security video from his family’s cabin the night Maya disappeared. Noel and Jenna were there too, and the video showed someone grabbing Maya from behind. More mystery, more problems for our little liars. So let’s get on with it, shall we? Not that there’s much to talk about because a whole lot of nothing happened this week.    

Spencer was oddly suspicious when Hanna refused to take Wren’s call, letting her know that she “would not be the first girl to fall for Downton Grabby.” Line of the night, people – which may or may not be saying much considering how boring this episode was. The Wren talk was interrupted when they overheard Hanna’s mother getting the flash drive with the videos of the girls. Despite Hanna’s attempts to take it back, her mother won. She later went to Caleb for help – IMs are so secretive, you guys! – and he took matters into his own hands and talked to her mother. While Caleb is giving himself all the credit, the truth of the matter was there was a video of Hanna’s mom with the detective. Covering your own behind is just as important as covering your daughter’s.

Aria was excused from her friends’ antics this week because she was still dealing with the fact that her boyfriend had an almost secret baby with a woman named Maggie. Thanks to Aria’s need to get involved in business she shouldn’t and Ezra’s need to know if Maggie is okay, she hunted down the ex-girlfriend and learned she was a schoolteacher. Oh, and she has a 7 year old son! 

Aria, Wes, and Ezra got together to celebrate Ezra’s birthday. He was in a surprisingly good mood because he tracked down Maggie and learned she is single, blissfully happy, and a communications major. Instead of telling Ezra about meeting Maggie, Aria told Wes, who wondered if his mother was behind all of it. Needless to say, it was an awkward birthday party. And can we talk about how we had two reminders that Ezra is an unemployed 25 year old man dating a 17 year old? First, when Maggie said her son was seven and second, when Wes called Ezra old. His hotness is forever deflated, you guys. 

After CeCe’s help with college, Spencer was forced to help her with a trunk show. This consisted of the girls trying on clothes, arguing with CeCe about said clothes, and Spencer getting attacked by a snake in the dressing room. I’m officially not stepping into a dressing room for the rest of my life without being weary. Sidenote: how badass was it when CeCe took a mannequin hand and beat that snake within an inch of its life? Get it, girl. 

Emily kissed a boy, liked it, and has all kinds of mixed feelings about where to go. Instead of talking through her feelings, she let Nate know she was not down for anymore kissing and froze him out. Poor guy. Being in love with a confused lesbian can be hard. 

Paige was surprisingly understanding about the whole ordeal, but that’s probably because she’s a crazy person. Thanks to CeCe Drake, we learned that Paige and Ali have a history, a physically violent rivalry. Although if you ask me, Paige gets a double high five for kicking Ali. When Spencer learned of the Paige’s past, she went straight to Emily, who did what every girl does when they’re told their significant other is a loony psychopath: she defended her. 

Paige got defensive when Emily asked her about Ali, pointing out that her friends aren’t the best people. Hanging around with them gets Emily drugged, attacked by Mona, and usually makes Emily the victim. Paige actually made a decent point there, but Emily defended her friends. Well, until she caught Hanna and Spencer searching through Paige’s bag. She’ll look stupid later when she learns they found something, but for now Emily is really, really angry.

Later, Paige explained that she did have a rivalry with Ali, but that she was relentless and basically ruined her life. Typical Ali and all that. Once their not-so-deep confessional was over, Paige excused herself to go inside and left Emily alone when Jenna arrived. Jenna realized that Paige was there and freaked out, telling Emily to be careful of who she spends time with. Meanwhile, Spencer called her cell phone and Paige declined her call. So, that means she’s like definitely A, right?

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to file a missing police report for Jason and his flawless hair. See you next week for the season finale! 

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