‘Hart of Dixie’ Recap: The Gambler (aka Wade gets thrown under the bus)

They say if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. But I don’t think that applies to TV show recaps, right? Tonight’s Hart of Dixie was basically an insult to the viewers and the disintegration of the best character on the show was appalling and a complete travesty to watch.

“The Gambler” began innocently enough. Wade was playing his guitar and riding around town on the back of a truck, which Zoe found hot and dangerous, like pretty much any woman would. Wade explained that he was prepping for the Battle of the Bands and he wanted to use the prize money to open a bar. Zoe was super supportive (like best girlfriend ever style) and even became a bit of a groupie, which was adorable. Her and Wade were totally solid.

But then Zoe actually heard the band and the singer was the worst, but she knew she couldn’t tell Wade that. So she asked George to tell him. George didn’t want to come right on and say the band was bad so he asked Wade if he could be their singer. Wade said ‘no’ and George accepted it, but then Zoe went ahead and told him the truth. Wade seemed offended, which was weird since it wasn’t like he was singing, but then he saw that she was right and asked George to be in the band.

Practice went really well, but Wade still seemed unhappy (still made zero sense). Tansy wasn’t happy either because she swore she’d never date musicians again and suddenly I was worried about my second favorite couple on the show. George told Tansy that he was going to sing with the band and he’d been with a woman for years who told him what to do and he was not going to do that again. He asked Tansy to come to the competition, but he wasn’t backing down. I actually sided with George here, which still feels strange to me, but he was right.

While all of this was going on, Lemon was doing her best to avoid Annabeth, who was basically stalking her around town with Cricket. Again, I love Annabeth, she’s the best, but I’m siding with Lemon on this one. Annabeth should not have slept with a man she knew for a fact her best friend was still in love with. That violates the entire girl code. Since Walt was going to be out of town and she wasn’t speaking to her friend, Lemon decided to spend the weekend with Magnolia.

The younger Breeland wasn’t exactly onboard until she noticed that her sister was distracted and started pushing her for things Lemon would never do, like buy her a super short, tight dress and let her get purple streaks in her hair (Lemon got some too). Then Walt came back and Magnolia was quick to let Lemon ditch her. I guess Walt broke up with Lemon, but I’m not sure why because I must have zoned out on the account of how incredibly boring he was. Lemon headed home and realized Magnolia had snuck out so she headed down to the bar to stop her from watching the Battle of the Bands.

Tom was all set to propose to Wanda, but Lavon overheard Wanda saying that Tom proposing would ruin everything so he rushed to stop him. Tom was wounded by a horse so Lavon called Zoe for help. She was with Wade, giving him more encouragement to how great he was going to be and she gave him a sign for his bar and Wade looked like he was going to cry at any second. Zoe told him she’d meet him at the bar and she headed to help Tom, but then it turned out that Wanda had set up a proposal that involved an elaborate zombie song and dance number (super cute).

At the bar, Wade was drowning his (sudden) sorrow in alcohol. George tried to calm his friend down and Wade freaked out, fired him from the band and told him that he didn’t understand his life. Then he started flirting with some random woman. Tansy showed up and she and George worked things out (thank goodness). Another band won and George again tried to comfort Wade, but he wasn’t having it. He wanted to wallow in being a failure and a screw up and he didn’t want anyone thinking he was better than he was. Wade left with random bar woman.

Zoe showed up late and felt absolutely terrible about missing the whole thing. George and Tansy exchanged nervous glances when Zoe asked about Wade. Tansy suggested that she follow them back to Bluebell and Zoe looked around again, feeling guilty and worrying that Wade was mad at her for missing the entire thing.

I can’t even. Wade got thrown under the bus, plain and simple. Wade, who has been the BEST from the beginning, is suddenly a depressed, alcohol-wallowing, potentially cheating failure? Can you say character assassination? And Zoe becoming the best girlfriend ever after she spent the entire season pushing Wade away or treating him like he was second best to everything else in her life?

This show is the worst.