By 
In last week’s Superman & Lois, Lois had to deal with her bathtub pill cult loving sister still drinking that bathtub kool aid while Clark was still dealing with his whiter doppelganger. Though the biggest development was Clark, who I doubt has ever gotten a speeding ticket in his life, getting arrested for treason.
Whiter Clark Had It Rough
The episode opens with flashbacks to Bizarro World with the Bizarro version of the Kent farm looking like Grey Gardens. Bizarro battles soldiers at Bizarro DOD, fights Bizarro Lana who is a Superman of America in this world and then attacks Bizarro Ally and takes the pendant. He then puts on the containment suit and comes to Earth Prime via crashing into the mines. We go to the present day as Bizarro tells not quite that white Clark and Lara that the pendants were created when the two worlds split and that if Ally gets both, she’ll be unstoppable.
Clark is wary of Bizarro. He kills people and makes no apologies for it. I think losing his family has broken this man. I think whatever made him look like he got dusted with cocaine and cracked his face could be a factor. The other people on Bizarro World don’t look like they used a powdered doughnut as makeup. That means a person or event did it to him. I’d say odds are in favor of Bizarro Ally messing him up. It is a testament to Tyler Hoechlin’s attractiveness that he still looks hot with pale makeup and with drawn on scars.
The US Military Are Meanies
Mitch gets chewed a new one by his superior General Hardcastle for his abysmal relationship with Superman. He wanted absolute fealty from Superman. The military is all about the chain of command and he forgot Superman is not in the military and isn’t some 18 year old fresh from boot camp that he can order around. Realizing he’s an idiot who ruined relations with Superman would be too much self-awareness for his engorged ego, so his resentment and mistrust just builds even further.
At the funeral for the two fallen Supermen of America, Mitch gets slapped by a grieving mother and learns from Superman that he has custody of Bizarro. Mitch demands the location of Bizarro and Clark isn’t going to hand him over because he still needs more information about the situation and Mitch is sketchy AF.
What is Mitch’s brilliant solution? Attack Superman in a red sun lamp decorated hallway and arrest him for treason. I would have loved to have seen the conversation that took place to get this plan in motion. Here’s how I imagine it:
Mitch: “Superman knows where the Kryptonian is! I want to arrest for treason.
General Hardcastle: “Didn’t I just rip you a new one for just pissing all over our relationship with Superman?”
Mitch: “He doesn’t respect my authority. When he doesn’t do what I want, it feels like he has a bigger ding dong than me and that hurts my feelings. Shooting him with Kryptonite will make me feel bigger. That and national security, yadda, yadda, yadda.”
General Hardcastle: “Well, we can’t have you feeling impotent. Let’s torch our relationship with the world’s greatest hero! Beat him up and arrest him! We can always just give him a Target gift card later to make up for it. Superman can buy bath bombs or some new pillows.”
I never thought I’d see a hallway fight in a Superman series, but they deliver a Daredevil-esque fight twice. The Bizarro version of the fight is on the opposite side, so Tyler Hoechlin and the stunt team had to do it twice. I’m very impressed. Excellent direction from the original pink Power Ranger Amy Jo Johnson as well. This was her first episode of television she’s ever directed and you’d never know that watching it.
Lucy, Get a Grip, Girl
Sam bum rushes Lois with her cuckoo for bathtub pills sister Lucy. The twins and Lucy catch up with a lot of football talk and Lois manages to get along with Lucy for most of the episode. That is until Lucy brings up Lois being “wrong” about Ally. Lois doesn’t take well to that and brings up Ally drugging Chrissy and Lucy defends the act of putting pills in hotel lobby tea. Lois has the self-restraint of a saint because she didn’t pop Lucy in the mouth in the stands of a high school football game.
I wonder what will be Lucy’s “come to Jesus” moment because it has to be coming. Would it be Ally trying to harm Lois? Realizing Ally’s true intentions? I don’t know, but at this point I think Ally could drown a basket full of kittens and Lucy would say that the kittens had it coming for not accepting their other self. This is realistic for cults. They position everything as us versus them and it puts people away from their families.
Jonathan Inhaled
Jordan finally learned that his brother Jonathan was breathing in X-Kryptonite to get a starting position on the football team and he was pissed. The police are investigating the X-Kryptonite druggies so if they catch Jonathan’s girlfriend and she snitches on him, he’ll be in big trouble. Jonathan did all this and he doesn’t even feel good about winning the game because he cheated. Though one could argue Jordan was cheating last season when he played football even if he only used a fraction of his physical abilities.
Leave Him, Lana
Kyle is no longer living in the Cortez home given that he’s a cheating dirtbag. Not helping matters was Lana visiting Kyle’s affair partner and learning that he only stopped fornicating with the bartender after Sarah’s suicide attempt. This news was a huge blow to any reconciliation hopes. She’s no longer sure she loves him. It should be a deal breaker. He didn’t stop placing his penis in another woman out of love for Lana. It was concern for his daughter.
I worry that the show will take the easy way out and in two episodes Lana will realize she still loves him and they’ll kiss in front of the window like they in season one. I abhor even the thought of that. This man embarrassed her and their entire family at Sarah’s birthday. This scandal could hurt Lana’s mayoral chances. I know marriages can survive infidelity, but sometimes they just shouldn’t. I know a divorce would strain the Cortez family finances given that Kyle is the only one working, but if Lana becomes mayor, the salary should sustain her and her daughters.
I want to see what a single life looks for Lana. She hasn’t dated anyone else since she was 17. Set her free from this bad marriage and stop papering over Kyle’s toxic behavior. I know this show has Lana and Kyle just so they can be an unhealthy contrast to Lois and Clark’s marriage, but if they really want a contrast, it should be the death of that marriage.
Random thoughts about “Tried & True”:
- I like that Bizarro had a cat. I hope someone is still feeding that cat because it would be very cruel if he just flew off to another universe without a thought of that cat.
- I want Lana to meet Bizarro Lana. She got possessed by Lara last season. Let her have the trippy experience of meeting a superpowered version of herself.
- This season is very focused on the Ally and Bizarro story, but I’m kind of missing a villain of the week like we got in season one with Thaddeus Killgrave. I wouldn’t want that all the time, but sometimes you need a breather.
- I’m ready for football to be over. Jordan doesn’t play anymore after he almost melted everyone. Jonathan is inhaling rocks because of it. Let’s find a new high school activity.
