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‘Carrie Diaries’ Recap: Read Before Use

Photo: Barbara Nitke/The CW

Bad boy. Gay. Drama queen. Virgin. Labels; we all wear them, whether we like it or not. Some we wear as people, others as labels on clothing. That’s the topic of discussion for Carrie and her friends in this week’s episode, “Read Before Use.” Also, vagina…but we’ll get to that later.

Carrie’s still forbidden by her dad to date Sebastian, but he won’t tell Carrie why he’s set these limits. Larissa, being the free spirit she is, encourages Carrie to date the bad ones. They’re only good if they’re bad, she says. This explains where Sex and the City gets her opinion on men later in life. However, our 80s Romeo and Juliet are meeting in secret, listening to The Cars and making googly eyes at one another. Carrie decides it’s time to do some snooping to find out why her dad is keeping her from her teenage crush and she sneaks into her dad’s office to read his files. There Carrie discovers that Sebastian was expelled from his former school for sleeping with his teacher. Clearly he’s seen Mrs. Robinson one too many times. Maggie believes this means he’ll be better at sex, while Mouse thinks it’s a bad idea to take things further with Sebastian. Carrie’s still conflicted and introspective, something that she’ll carry over into adulthood. Mouse is also excited to reunite with former flame Seth, who finally contacted her again. She travels with Carrie to New York, to meet Seth and attend an ‘art opening’ with Larissa, which turns out to be more than both girls bargained for.

This art opening is centered around former porn star Monica Penny. She’s taking back her womanhood and power, while exposing her vagina to everyone after they put a penny in the jar. No, that’s not a metaphor, I promise. Mouse freaks at the thought of seeing such a thing (much like I do) but Carrie is able to look her fear right in the face, er, vagina and claim her power. This pushes her to decide it’s time to be with Sebastian, no matter what her dad thinks. Another woman making a big decision is Mouse, who finally realizes Seth truly likes her. They decide it’s time to make it official – they’re boyfriend and girlfriend.

Carrie’s father is still struggling with being a single parent (some things never change). He’s busy trying to buy tampons and put the reins of his two wild daughters, while also trying to date again. Dorrit stole a hamster from the pet store, which she named Morrisey, just like every other emo girl of the 80s. He attends a singles bar with a friend and realizes women only like him when he tells them about his dead wife. You’d think this would be a big mood killer, but apparently not.

Maggie’s being a big drama queen after her break-up with Walt the previous episode. She still can’t see that her former boy totally likes boys. Strangely enough, Maggie finds comfort spending time with Dorrit, searching for Morrisey after she loses him. This is why we can’t have nice things, Dorrit. After her interaction with Carrie’s sister, Maggie realizes it’s time to embrace her inner drama queen for what it is. At least she finally realizes it.

After Carrie reveals she knows about Sebastian’s past to the Kydd, he becomes extremely angry and decides they’re never getting back together. Like, ever. Lucky, or maybe not so lucky for Carrie, this won’t be her first heartbreak. Father Bradshaw returns Dorrit’s hamster to her, safe and sound. In the end, Carrie realizes the lesson of the week: “Labels only matter if we let them stick” and the Bradshaw clan begin to integrate Morrisey into their dysfunctional family. I hope that hamster knows what he’s getting into.

[textblock style=”7″]SOURCE STATS

Favorite Moment: Carrie and Sebastian listening to The Cars using the same pair of headphones. The chemistry is still electric and you can feel the connection and love this couple shares.

Hottest Character: Sebastian. Sebastian. Sebastian. Honorable mention goes to Seth who’s a total cutie!

Character We Loved This Week: Maggie. I’m glad she was able to accept herself for who she truly was – a drama queen. While this isn’t the best label, I can appreciate someone who can accept themselves for who they truly are.

Character We Wanted to Slap This Week: Dorrit. Still emo. Still annoying. Still my least favorite character on the show.

What We’re Looking Forward to Next Week: Carrie and Walt head to a Halloween party in the city. Of course things go awry. This is The Carrie Diaries, after all.

Rating (1-5): 4. This episode was the first to tackle a mature issue (vagina!) in a very real and honest way, just like Sex and the City. This show is taking off and headed for the sky and I can’t wait to see what’s next!tries to threaten Pamela, only to be swatted down the fly he is. You can’t handle Pamela.[/textblock]

Spencer Barrett
Stars are his kind of thing! Spencer Barrett joined the TV Source team as a staff writer in 2013. In 2018, he was promoted to Senior Writer, TV & Pop Culture, shaping our pop culture content. He loves all things horror, Archie Comics and Taylor Swift.

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