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If you follow our weekly Hart of Dixie coverage, then you probably know the second half of the season has not been my favorite thing. I wish we could lock Zoe in a closet and just enjoy the rest of the show, but somehow, I don’t think that’s where the writers are going with the final three episodes.
So instead of my usual review, griping about Zoe’s bad behavior, I’m going to take a page out of our Gossip Girl (ugh, thank God that show is gone) coverage and “live” blog the episode, “If Tomorrow Never Comes,” as I watch it on my DVR because I just don’t have it in me to bang my head against the wall again in a long review.
-We begin with Zoe watching video of George and Tansy moving in together and then she chokes on the donut she was eating. I’m guessing this is supposed to be funny, but I’m annoyed by her existence.
-Next, she interrupts Lavon and Annabeth’s breakfast to complain about how she’s alone. No one cares.
-Wade and Lemon are having an owner’s meeting at the Rammer Jammer to celebrate their first profit. Wade wants a new TV and Lemon wants a parlor set. LMAO, these two are the best. Poor Wanda is breathing into a paper bag while the two shout at each other.
-Zoe heads to work to whine to Brick, but he’s in a private meeting with Jonah. Zoe’s upset because she thinks Brick is trying to muscle her out of the practice and for a second, I feel bad for her until she starts whining about dying again. Thankfully, Shelby shows up and Brick leaves with her.
-George and Tansy are adorably cohabitating as they try to make room for all of her stuff. She feels bad for taking over his space, but George tells her she can stay as long as she likes (Aw!). Then, Tansy’s three brothers show up and scare the hell out of George.
-Jonah returns and Zoe is still complaining, assuming they’re hiding a patient for her. Zoe stomps on Jonah’s foot and Zoe takes the folder – Brick is the patient. He lied and he has a tumor. This realization would be more OMG if they hadn’t revealed it in the previews last week.
-Ooh, “The Originals” promo! This commercial is better than the entire season of Hart of Dixie.
-Zoe and Brick talking about his tumor. Scenes with Brick automatically redeem Zoe (temporarily) since I am a sucker for their father-daughter-esque relationship. Brick’s tumor is the kind that can be removed surgically, but he doesn’t want people to worry about him.
-Tansy warns George that her brothers are overgrown kids; more like infants. Tansy tries to give George an alibi for the day, but he offers to take her brothers to lunch. He tells her that he wants to get to know her family (as two brothers push the third one off the boat).
-Zoe making things about her again as she talks to Shelby about Brick. She scares Shelby when she hints that Brick will die.
-During a Belles’ meeting, Lemon complains to Annabeth about Wade. Annabeth suggests that Lemon show Wade what she wants. Lemon hijacks the Belle meeting and invites everyone to a wine tasting at the Rammer Jammer that night.
-Jonah gives Zoe a note from Shelby – she’s left town and left Brick and she mentions that Zoe opened her eyes to the risks. Zoe blames Google and Jonah is not amused.
-The Truitt brothers are not happy to see Wade, but he’s in too good of a mood to be bothered by them, even if they don’t believe he’s the owner of the Rammer Jammer. They want to cause trouble, but George points out that Wade is his friend and if things hadn’t ended between Wade and Tansy, George never would have a had a chance with Tansy (aw, George is winning so many points in this episode).
-Zoe and Jonah can’t find Shelby. Zoe had Jonah pull Shelby’s computer search history and uses it to figure out where she is. “I’m like that guy Elementary.” Jonah points out that’s not his name, but Zoe is already moving onto the next part of her plan.
-Annabeth and Lavon are talking and she mentions that Lemon has plans for the Rammer Jammer that night. Lavon looks uncomfortable which leads to a flashback to five hours earlier when he and Wade were meeting with their fishing club (?) and talking about Wade’s plan to add the flat screen TV. He suggests that Wade ‘show’ Lemon how great a sports bar could be. Now he and Annabeth are fighting. “We cannot have our first fight over those two yahoos.” I love Annabeth. Annabeth and Lavon agree to not get involved.
-Tansy’s brothers are drunk and angry with Wade for being a liar. He told them to have a nice lunch and then threw them out of the bar. George points out that they threw stuff at Wade and then drew on the walls. The brothers make plans to sabotage Wade’s car and then mock George when he doesn’t want to help. George walks away (“GT, out!”) and then he calls Wade and warns him to hide his car (LMAO).
-Zoe tracks Shelby down at the store and she admits that she’s not strong enough to be there for Brick. Shelby refuses to go and takes Shelby’s purse; threatening to rip up her coupons if she doesn’t come with her. Okay, show, you win this one. That was a funny Zoe moment.
-Wade tries to get Lemon to go pick up the shrimp delivery. She wants him to do it. Wilson Bethel and Jaime King have ridiculous chemistry.
-Lavon calls Wade to warn him and Annabeth does the same with Lemon. This is the kind of mess that makes this show awesome.
-Jonah asks Zoe how she got Shelby there. Zoe says she’s persuasive and Shelby responds with, “Here on Earth, we call it kidnapping.” Zoe doesn’t care. She just wants her to be there before Brick goes into surgery.
-Tansy is upset that George lost her brothers.
-The Rammer Jammer is divided in half (literally) for the wine tasting and the sporting event (mixed-martial arts). Wade and Lemon are standing in the middle fighting. Lemon tells Wade that she could kill him and not even lose a wink of a sleep (Seriously, love these two). Wade canceled Lemon’s wine order and Lemon cut his cable.
-Sheriff Bill calls George to let him know that he’s got Tansy’s brothers locked up.
-Brick tells Shelby how much he loves her and asks her to marry him. Zoe and Jonah both look horrified, but Shelby says yes. (Seriously, how is Lemon not there? This isn’t right).
-Ooh, “The Originals” promo again, but a shorter one this time. Joseph Morgan and Daniel Gillies are EVERYTHING, people.
-Jonah is mad at Zoe. She doesn’t seem too concerned and points out that Brick was going to get his heart broken one way or another; they’re just delaying it until after the surgery. Jonah is not impressed (Side note: I like him more in this episode than I did in all the other ones put together).
-Annabeth confesses to Lavon that she told Lemon about Wade. Lavon admits he did the same thing. These two are super cute.
-George tells the sheriff that he will take custody of them because they are Tansy’s brothers and that makes them family. Tansy shows up to hear that (aw) and she thanks him. Tansy warns them that they have to stay in her trailer and if she hears they’re in any trouble, she calling their mama. That seems to frighten them.
-Wanda welcomes Lavon and Annabeth to the Rammer Jammer’s “First Annual Wine and Fight Night.” Annabeth asks where the wine is and Wanda tells her that there is no wine and there is no fight.
-Wade explains to Lavon that people just like to taste new drinks while Lemon tells Annabeth that people like to watch sporting events while they drink; any sporting event, including ladies’ arm wrestling. Wanda tells Lemon and Wade that the bar is experiencing their highest profit since they took over and they high-five as Lavon and Annabeth agree it was all because of them.
-Brick wakes up and Jonah and Zoe tell him the surgery was a total success. Brick wants to know why they’re looking at him like someone died. Shelby bursts in and tells Brick that she can’t wait to marry him and start their lives together.
-Ooh soap fans, here’s the All My Children and One Life to Live promo.
-“The Originals” again! *happy dance*
-Wade and Lemon agree that they need more space and decide to take down one of the walls. This doesn’t seem like it’ll end well.
-Jonah is mad at Zoe, but she shows her human side again and admits “that stubborn, crabby jerk” is the closest thing she’s got to a father in town and she didn’t want him to die. Jonah is more understanding and offers to tell Brick about Shelby. Zoe says she’ll do it once Shelby leaves.
-Lemon and Wade get sledgehammers and start to bust the wall down. Wade sees that it’s rotting and quickly pulls Lemon underneath the table (hot!) as the wall crashes down around them. She wants to know how much it’s going to cost to fix and he says a lot more than they made that night.
-Zoe warns Brick that he’s making a mistake because Shelby is a fair-weather fiancée. Brick isn’t too upset; he believes that Shelby panicked and acted irrationally. He comments that Zoe should understand how something like that might make someone kidnap someone or threaten their coupons. Zoe is stunned that Shelby told him. Brick says that he loves Shelby and explains that at least he put his cards on the table. “If there’s someone you care about in this world, the risk lies in not letting them know while you had the chance.”
-Of course Zoe runs to see George and tells him that she made a mistake when she told him they couldn’t date and she’s hoping it’s not too late to change things because she likes him. “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKIN’ MIND RIGHT NOW?” is George’s (fantastic) response. He points out that she had every opportunity to be with him and sent him out to find a real relationship and he found one with Tansy and it’s awesome. He says he’s sorry she almost choked to death and tells her next time, “take smaller bites.”
You guys, it’s rare that I say this, but George Tucker OWNED this episode from beginning to end.
There are only two episodes left this season. Next week, it’s prom in Bluebell and Tansy calls Zoe a home wrecker (LMAO). It also looks like we’re getting a Wade and Zoe moment. See you then…
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