‘Revenge’ Review: ‘Secrecy’ brings an old enemy back to the Hamptons

This week’s Revenge review is going to start off with a confession: these reviews are getting harder and harder to write because I don’t find the show enjoyable at the moment. I have to repeat what I said last week: the show feels like each episode is just treading water until we get to the wedding and the reveal of the person on the other end of the gun.

Last night, “Secrecy” put more obstacles in Emily’s way on her route to happiness (aka making Victoria suffer for all eternity by setting her up to ‘kill’ Emily). But we know she’s going to get past them because we know she marries Daniel, ends up on the honeymoon cruise and then gets shot. So it doesn’t matter if Daniel is having cold feet or if Victoria is unearthing fake ex-husbands, we all know the wedding is going to happen so why pretend otherwise?

Okay, now that I’ve ranted a little (again), let’s talk about the details of the episode. Everyone was buzzing about the mystery return, but since that didn’t happen until the end of the episode, I’m going to save that for later. I’m also not quite sure how I feel about it so let’s talk about some other things first, starting with the best (aka Nolan, if you’re new).

Nolan and Aiden become roommates

This made me happy for two reasons. One, I thought Aiden was gone until the wedding so this was a nice surprise and two, Nolan is always fun to watch and his ‘roommate proofing’ was hilarious. I’ve always enjoyed their interactions and this was no exception although I am nervous about Aiden using Charlotte to get to Victoria. Even though Emily has done it herself in past seasons, she might be hypocritical and be angry at Aiden for using the same tactic. I worry about these two. The pro-Jack shift is becoming very heavy-handed (more on that later).

Emily makes Victoria look foolish

I love the Emily/Victoria rivalry. It’s my favorite thing about the show (aside from Nolan) and I usually go back and forth to whose side I’m going to take. Lately I’ve been on Victoria’s because Emily is kind of the worst this season, but I have to give Ms. Thorne all the points on this one. She played Victoria like a fiddle. She planted the ex-husband seed, Victoria brought him in as the surprise bridal shower guest to embarrass Emily and then Emily turned the tables and explained that it was a green card marriage and he’s gay. Emily came out looking great and it turned out he was an ex-Takeda student too. Well played.

Charlotte did something dumb

Okay, this whole story seemed really weird to me. Charlotte, while grieving Declan and her baby, hooked up with some random guy in Europe, let him take dirty pictures of her and then someone stole her phone and tried to blackmail her. So she called Aiden to get her out of it…what? Don’t get me wrong – I believe that Charlotte was that dumb. She’s a lonely teenager and she makes bad choices. But what was the point of Aiden helping her? Was it just so he could get her computer? Was it so Charlotte would trust him? Was it so the audience would like him better for beating the guy who hurt Emily’s sister? I don’t know. I already like Aiden so my opinion wasn’t changed, but I feel like there was more to this story…or there should have been?

Jack and Aiden fight over Emily

I’m not a fan of Jack. I never have been and I probably never will be, but I know there are plenty of Jack and Emily shippers out there and I respect that. But I’m not sure where this sudden need to have Jack and Aiden be at odds is coming from. Clearly they’re not the type to be best buds, Jack is the ‘good’ guy and Aiden is very, very morally gray. Of course so is Emily. While I’m guessing Jack and Emily fans enjoyed him going into protective mode, I enjoyed Emily reminding him that he doesn’t know the person she’s become. That’s what I’ve been saying from the beginning. Jack loves some idea of a girl he knew when he was a kid. Aiden loves the psycho woman that Emily is now. But the triangle isn’t going anywhere so it is what it is (Team Aiden).

Daniel cheats with Sara

Seriously, this plot gives me a headache. Daniel became the worst in season two, but he started to improve a little this season and now he’s back to sucking. I get that he’s just now realizing that he’s marrying his mother, but this sudden rekindled love for Sara does not make a lot of sense. But I guess Sara reminds him of a simpler time when all he had to do was get drunk and read poetry and wasn’t in the middle of a war between his mother and his soon-to-be wife. So while Emily won the shower round, Victoria won this one because Emily really believed she’d convinced Sara to back away from her man.

But that only lasted until Daniel invited her to Conrad’s Cheating Chateau (question, if this has been passed down through Grayson generations, why did he go to the hotel during his affair with Lydia?). So once Emily found out that Daniel was getting ready to leave her, she had to play the ultimate card and anyone who has ever watched a soap opera in his or her life had to know what was in that little box: a sonogram photo. They’re pregnant! Not really, of course, but Emily has just reeled Daniel in once more.

Guess who’s not dead?

All the promotions for the episode promised an unexpected guest. Margaux had been asking more questions after Conrad screwed her over on the publishing deal and she finally found someone who was willing to talk to her about the Grayson family dirty laundry…Lydia Davis. Last time we saw Lydia was at the end of season one where she was boarding a plane that eventually exploded. I’m still not sure how I feel about this twist. It seems a little dull to me because Lydia hates Victoria and Emily so who is she here to hurt? And how is it possible she still cares about Conrad after everything? Why isn’t she smart enough to run and never long back? But on the other hand, she’s always been entertaining.

Now let’s talk about the most annoying part of the episode: the fact that the show doesn’t come back for three weeks. I know what you’re thinking: I’ve spent most of this review complaining so why shouldn’t I be happy about a break? To be honest, I am. I don’t mind at all. However, I am annoyed because ABC promised no breaks and three weeks qualifies as a break. I don’t like being misled.

What do you guys think? Is season three holding your attention or are you just waiting for the reveal? Personally, I’m waiting for Justin Hartley to come back, but that shouldn’t surprise anyone who knows me. Hit the comments and share your thoughts with us!