‘Sons of Anarchy’ Review: ‘John: 8:32’

We shall know the truth, and the truth shall set us free. Considering the amount of secrets being kept by everyone, this is the perfect title for a revealing episode where the truth is painful.

Isn’t it sweet that we start off this episode with a lovely juxtaposition between the two main couples: Jax and Tara, and Gemma and Nero? No, I really hate them both. I mean they both suck, but interestingly enough, we saw one couple be destroyed by truth (Jax and Tara) and one couple become closer by truth (Nero and Gemma). My truth is that I hope Jax shoots Tara in the head, and Nero runs the hell away from Gemma because she literally destroys every guy she sleeps with. Nero, you will end up dead…RUN!

Did I not also say Tara’s plan was stupid? And this episode shows that Miss Perfect is really fucking screwed right now and she deserves all the shit she gets. Your husband loves you, and he is really good looking. Get over your shit! Your lies suck! And you cause fistfights where your husband’s face might get damaged. What an evil bitch….

So here is where Tara went wrong: NEVER TRUST THE DYING GUY OBSESSED WITH YOUR MOTHER IN LAW! Can we talk about how Unser is an asshole? Seriously way to tell everyone what Tara was up to. I don’t even like Tara, but I also hate rats. She trusts him with a secret, he agrees to keep a secret, and when things go crazy he runs to tell everyone after he said he wouldn’t.

He basically confirmed to Gemma last week her theory was correct, and now he goes running to Jax to give him hints that Tara is lying. Then he sets up that poor lawyer lady Lowen when really she was just doing her job. Wayne, GEMMA WILL NEVER SLEEP WITH YOU AND THEY WILL NOT GIVE YOU A LEATHER JACKET WITH YOUR NAME ON IT. For the love of God, let this guy die sometime soon. This is the longest terminal death ever!

I am also seriously offended that I have to side with Nero and Gemma. Like, really Tara, that’s how miserable you are. I have to hear him call her “Mama” and tell Jax that she was forced to have sex with Clay while the guards watched. This season Gemma is the real woman who loves Jax, not Tara. I find it truly disgusting that I have to write that, but it’s true.

Gemma is currently the only woman in Jax’s life that he can trust……which SUCKS.  He was finally starting to break free of his mom, but nooooooooooooooo Tara had to go and ruin everything. Now he will be all up Gemma’s ass again. Until Jax finds out that Gemma was part of John Teller’s death, he will still be overly attached to this shrew. When he finds out is anyone’s guess, but hopefully it’s this season.

RANDOM PERSON I HOPE GOES AWAY SOON: Brooke. I have no idea why I need to know you, and I don’t care to know you. I love that you broke Tig’s bike, but really you can exit stage left now. Your mom ‘died’ in a pile up. It’s not like they assassinated her!  Unless you did this so you can have moments with Jax, and if that’s the case, then I respect you a smidge, but really, go away. Also, your mom looks like the homeless lady so you might want to step outside and have an Oprah moment. No, really, I think that’s your mom and I am legit confused.

LOSER OF THE NIGHT:  ::cue the club music:: UNS-UNS-UNS-UNS-UNS ….UNSER and his big fat mouth.  And the entire audience for having to listen to Tara sing.

POSSIBLE WINNER OF THE NIGHT: That baby if it can reach the gun on Tara’s lap and shoot her with it.  Clearly this one is still pending if little Thomas cannot reach the gun. Though the singing was so bad I won’t blame him for faking sleep.

MOMENT OF THE NIGHT: Clay ripping off the guard’s nose with his mouth after channeling an evangelical preacher in love with saying “Pussayyyyyyy.” Yes this all really happened, and no, he is not insane, he just really needed privacy to get his cell phone. At least we know he looks good with a Hannibal Lecter face mask.

So many secrets are now out there, and I didn’t even get to the part where Jax offered Patterson a deal to turn over Gaalan for the Club and Tara’s immunity. I hope he reneges the Tara offer, but what happens next week when the bust goes down?

Will Jax be able to outsmart the IRA? Will Jax and Tara come face to face and have it out? Can this bitch finally die? Where the hell did little Thomas go? Can this show ever end after one hour and not one hour and thirty minutes, seriously I had to pee the entire time?!  Find out what happens next week as we only have four episodes left this season of Sons of Anarchy!