With only three episodes left of the show, things are getting kicked into high gear, with Jax possibly finding out the truth behind Tara’s death. Say what???! It’s about freaking time! And thankfully we had a montage this week…full of butts, and sex, and more and more sex. So let’s take a look at the highs and lows of this week’s episode:
MOANtage: So basically every member of SAMCRO was having sex, even Gemma and Nero, which looked painful and awkward. Venus and Tig was interesting, and Jax crying during sex with Winsome was even more…interesting I guess? Thank God for the Jimmy Smits and Charlie Hunnam butt shots. Special shout out to Wendy and her vibrator, way to keep it real girl. And Juice and Tully…..ew. I guess this is Juice’s punishment for being a dipshit…talk about a raw deal. No pun intended! In fairness I would have to take a ton of cocaine too to let Marilyn Manson near me.
Venus Trager?: Venus and Tig have an awkward after sex moment where he stares into the mirror, and she is confused. Venus assumes Tig regrets their sexual encounter. She confronts him later on saying that she won’t be changing any time soon. She will not be having surgery to change herself, feeling that God made her that way on purpose, and she loves herself. She wants to distance herself from him because she is in love with him, and feels he cannot deal with the penis aspect of this relationship. Well VENUS IS WRONG! Tig, sorry I mean ALEXANDER, loves her back, and wants everyone to know they are together, and this is where we cue the Audience track of: AWWWWWWWWWWWW! At least someone on this damn show is happy.
Chibs and his Stalker: This has really become a couples review and not even a damn episode review. It’s like cupid’s arrow shot everyone in the damn ass. Anywho long story short, Althea has some daddy issues and is an insane asshole. She regrets starting things with Chibs, and he even admits this will never end well. Then they slap each other around and get busy. It’s so reassuring knowing this is the SHERIFF of a town! Way to keep the streets safe.
Breaking News: Loutreesha is freeeeeeee and can leave the stinky cabin!!!!! Do any of you care? No? I just really wanted to write Loutreesha somewhere.
Did NAZI that Coming: So our White Supremacist friends are going through a power struggle. Leland is not pleased that Tully is working so closely with the club, and Otis is primed to take over. Leland, Tully, Otis…Did their parents know they’d grow up to be Nazis with those names? Did they have any other choice? The guys are not thrilled to be teaming up with SAMCRO because for one thing, Tig sleeps with a transgendered person. Tig is a smidge offended and shoots one the guys in the penis. That’s fair and a completely normal reaction. Otis and Jax get things under control once two members are killed, however Leland is off trying to kill the cop that witnessed their deal gone wrong.
To make a long story short, too late, Unser kills Leland before he can kill Officer Eglee. Unser has never shot to kill before. You mean he’s never done anything exciting before? Say it ain’t so Wayne?! Wayne isn’t pleased with all the favors he’s having to do for the club. I vote kill him. Jax can you hear me?
Holy Moses!: Moses is a huge pain in the ass. First he tortured Bobby, and now he is dead set on getting Marks out of jail and targeting the club. He forces Tyler to help him, and Tyler suggests getting information out of the Grim Bastards. Moses grabs T.O and Rat, then beating them for information and implying he will torture them like he tortured Bobby. T.O. gives up the location of the cabin because he doesn’t want to lose and eye or a hand. Moses goes to check this out, and while gone, Tyler frees Rat and T.O. Seems T.O. did not really give the location of the cabin, but the location of the White Supremacist group’s location. Anytime a Winnebago is used as a bomb, it’s an AWESOME SCENE! So all the white guys kill the black guys, but some other black guys helped them so this is all ok! Jax handles Moses, rips out his eye, has Chibs cut off his fingers, and then Jax shoots him in the head. Bobby totally called his death! Also, that dangling eye from Moses eye socket was amazing! So question, if the white dudes are working with black and brown ….are they still Nazis? Hmm things to ponder..
Abel to Figure this Out: Abel totally used Courtney Love’ dumb ass and it worked! Abel has a cut over his eye that he says was from Tommy. The teacher questions this and Abel quickly realizes he can get Gemma in trouble. Abel then takes a fork to his arm and tells the teachers Gemma did it. Child services are called and Jax is forced to go in. Gemma and Jax are shocked at the allegations, and all are left wondering why the little kid wanted to get his grandmother in trouble. In order to please child services, Jax is taking the boys to his home with Wendy. So Gemma is now a depressed mess and wondering why Nero loves her. Great, I love crying psycho Gemma. She plans to escape with him when he goes to set up his new home. In a total shocking turn of events, Jax finally tells Abel that Wendy is his first mommy. It’s about damn time. How far we have come from the days he got her hooked back on heroin! Wendy cries, and is happy but just surprised by Jax’s choice. Good for Wendy! She really deserved this after years of having to lie. Jax tucks Abel into bed and Abel asks if Wendy is really his first mommy. Jax confirms this, and Abel then asks if this is why grandma killed his second mommy…DUN DUNN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. Thank. God. For. Abel.
Next week will Jax find out the truth? Will Gemma get away before Jax can stop her? Will Abel have to do everything and kill Gemma himself? Will Unser be a huge pain in the ass? Will Juice still have Marilyn Manson in his ass? Find out next week on an all new Sons of Anarchy!