‘The Vampire Diaries’ Review: ‘I Could Never Love Like That’

After what felt like an eternity, The Vampire Diaries finally returned from hiatus with a fun episode jam packed with new revelations and plenty of murder and attempted-friend murder courtesy of two humanity-free vampires. “I Could Never Love Like That” gave us a glimpse into Enzo’s tragic past and filled in a lot of the blanks when it came to Lily. The episode also made it clear that despite their promise of eternity, Damon and Elena are not even close to being on the same page.

Since the audience knows a major casting spoiler, it’s not too hard to guess how this particular thread is going to play out, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be interesting to watch it unravel. Damon has always made it clear that he loves Elena whether she’s vampire or human, but his fear that he’ll lose her if he gives her the cure is enough to make him withhold its existence from her, at least for now. I’m curious how long he’ll wait to tell her and whether he will tell her or she’ll learn of it another way (Lily, perhaps). In the meantime, let’s talk about all of the major moments that happened in “I Could Never Love Like That.”

5. Enzo wanted to make Sarah a monster because Lily made him one

For most of season six, Enzo has been a drag on the show and I really do hate saying that because I want to love the character and I like the actor a lot. But his plot was so far removed from everyone else that no matter how many times he said he hated Stefan because of Damon, it was impossible to care because he wasn’t interacting with anyone important. Now we know that Lily turned him into a vampire because he was dying of consumption and she knew what it was like to feel abandoned and alone so she wanted him to join her new vampire family. Unfortunately, Lily and the vamps were gone when Enzo completed his transition and he felt more abandoned than ever. But what Enzo doesn’t know is that they were all transported to the prison world. So I’m guessing his opinion on Lily being the worst person ever might change in the near future.

In the meantime, Sarah became aware of everything when Matt secretly stopped by her hospital room and slipped her some vervain. Enzo (hilariously) explained the good brother/bad brother Salvatore dynamic and then dropped the whole story of her tragic birth on her. Sarah was rightfully horrified and Enzo felt guilty for wanting to turn her into a monster because that’s what was done to him. He planned to compel it all away, but Sarah asked for a chance to just leave and promise never to go near the family again. Enzo complied, which will probably come back and bite him, even if it was the right thing to do. Now if only these two had chemistry. Then this story would really be working for me.

4. Elena’s not as into the vampire thing as she thought

While Stefan and Caroline were on their murder spree at Whitmore, Elena ended up at the hospital helping Jo deal with the victims. Jo was out of the loop and had no idea Mama Salvatore was back or that Kai was now trapped in a prison world. Elena quickly realized Jo was pregnant and had a strange reaction to the news. While happy for her friend, she was also visibly jealous, something Jo picked up on. Things got even more awkward for Elena when Matt refused her blood and more or less told her they couldn’t be friends because she’s a vampire and he hates them. Instead of judging him for being the worst like I did (would he rather have just died for good all those times vampires and/or magic saved him?), Elena admitted that she understood and she couldn’t blame him. She knew she was one flipped switch away from acting exactly like her destructive friends.

Later, Elena relayed her sadness to Damon, but quickly followed up with a speech about how it was just a moment and she’d be fine because at least they had their love for eternity. It does feel like Elena being anti-vampire is a little out of left field, but if we look back on the older seasons when she was still human, Elena never wanted to be a vampire. She wanted to grow old and have a family. And since Elena has been more in touch with her human side lately (she cares about other people again), it makes sense that she’s being wistful over what she can’t have. Or what she thinks she can’t have. She has no idea Damon has the cure sitting in his dresser drawer (Side note: Damon, did you learn nothing with the moonstone and the white oak stake? Don’t hide stuff in plain sight).

3. Stefan and Caroline continue their murder games with teamwork

The cold open with Stefan and Caroline betting over whether or not she could scare the bartender to death might be one of my favorite openings the show has ever done. Caroline cheated at the game and Stefan still let her have her way and played “manager” to the unruly customers who had the nerve to complain about her singing just because they were trying to study. It doesn’t matter if these two have their switches on or off, they’re still in sync and having fun together. That’s love, bitch (sorry, sometimes I miss How I Met Your Mother). Anyway, Tyler and Matt showed up and quickly attempted to vacate the scene only for Stefan to force them to stay while Caroline came up with an on the spot game of Caroline Trivia. Both exes did all right until Caroline asked them what her mother’s last memory was. Neither had a clue and then Stefan came in to show off that he was the best boyfriend and knew the answer so Caroline decided to kill them both.

At this point, Tyler got mad. As Caroline mocked his inner werewolf tendencies and Matt begged him to leave, Tyler attempted to stake Caroline and she used her vamp speed to put Matt in the path of the stake. So now Matt was bleeding to death and Tyler was on the verge of triggering his curse for a second time. Stefan and Caroline continued not to have a care in the world (I am 100 percent biased because I will take Stefan and Caroline, individually or as a couple, over Matt and Tyler any day of the week. But they were supposed to be the bad guys in these scenes. Their humanity was off and they were openly torturing people so of course they’re going to say mean things to people who matter to them. They’ve got to collect as many things as possible for Caroline to feel guilty about later). Then Damon showed up with Lily, Caroline instantly put two and two together and stabbed Stefan so she could get away before they could flip her switch.

2. Damon saves the day when Mama Salvatore turns out to be the worst

After a few hilarious Mama Salvatore meets 2015 (or whatever year it is in present day Mystic Falls), Damon was ready to get down to the business of saving his brother. But Lily continued to worry about her trapped friends and she quickly picked up on the fact that Damon was not the most trustworthy soul. It turned out that she’d overheard his conversation with Bonnie (hey show, where was Bonnie during this episode?) and knew that he wasn’t telling Elena about the cure, even though it was obvious she didn’t love being a vampire. Lily pointed out that she and Damon were a lot alike and feared being left alone. Lily worried she wouldn’t be able to help Stefan and Damon wouldn’t follow through on his promise.

He suggested she tap into whatever she’d felt when she’d been on her way to find them in 1903. That’s when Lily broke his heart (again) and told him that she hadn’t planned on reuniting with them. Even after she got her ripper-ness under control, Lily preferred her new family to her old one. Damon vented to Elena that his only hope might not work and she suggested finding out whether Lily was a good liar. When they got to the bar, Stefan attempted to leave, but Lily stopped him by admitting she was a ripper too. She started telling Stefan everything he needed to hear about how much she loved him and how she wanted to be there for her and Damon. His angel was back and would never leave him again. All of this was carefully spliced with Damon feeding the lines to Lily. Stefan flipped his switch back on and fell into his mother’s waiting arms. Sure, it would have been nice if Lily actually cared, but I like it better this way. Damon and Stefan’s relationship is the heart of the show as far as I’m concerned and Lily might get the credit, but Damon brought Stefan back.

1. Lily’s vampire dollhouse comes with a major twist

(Normally, anything having to do with Stefan and Damon automatically gets the number one spot. So that’s why I’m cheating a little and concluding things here since 1 and 2 go together this week). Damon gave Stefan one night to wallow in his misery and then he had to go after Caroline. But Stefan assured him he didn’t need a night and he’d find her (I approve of Stefan snapping right back into hero mode. Get your girl). As part of his effort to get Lily to bring Stefan back, Damon handed over the ascendant. He didn’t really care about her or her friends. He just wanted his brother back and giving it to her was a good way to get her to stop whining and do what needed to be done (it’s sound logic). Unfortunately, Jo placed a call to Papa Parker to tell him Kai had been sent away and the first thing he said was that the ascendant needed to be destroyed.

It turns out that Lily’s friends weren’t just any random strangers. They’d been powerful witches, members of the Gemini Coven known as Heretics. Like Kai, they syphoned their magic from other sources. Lily turned them into vampires, but they were still witches. Elena quickly pointed out that wasn’t possible, but Jo explained it was because they were syphoning magic and therefore being vampires gave them built-in magic and they used it for terrible purposes. She told them to imagine Kai with the bloodlust of a vampire and then imagine that there was six of him. I love Kai (and miss him), but that’s a terrifying thought so it makes sense that they wouldn’t ever want to open the door to that prison world (and I think we all know it’ll happen).

This was a great twist for so many reasons. For one thing, it explained why they didn’t just kill Lily and her friends in the first place. Second, it opens up a cool possibility of being a witch and a vampire, something that was always deemed impossible in this universe (although The Originals already hinted at the possibility when Kol explained how and why dark objects were created). Third, witch problems mean there’s going to be more for Bonnie to do (and I’m guessing she’ll want no part of this because she’s done putting other people above herself. But Bonnie having screen time is important).

Next week, the race is on to flip Caroline’s switch.