Conversion therapy, car bombs, tattoos, and catsuits Oh My — it’s just another day in Riverdale! Let’s dive into this week’s Riverdale Recap for “Chapter Thirty: The Noose Tightens”.
Riverdale Recap: “Chapter Thirty: The Noose Tightens”
Airdate: March 28, 2018
Alexis Ostrander directed the episode written by Britta Lundin & Brian E. Paterson (#217).
Cheryl’s still locked up in The Sisters of Quiet Mercy which apparently is an alternate universe where it’s 1949’s version of Groundhog Day and gay conversion therapy is a thing. Cheryl is being forced to watch black and white videos depicting the terrors of deviant behavior and she’s so distraught, she’s imagining all of her school friends as the characters in the film.
Thankfully Toni has been social media stalking her crush and thinks it’s definitely weird Cheryl isn’t posting selfies from the Swiss Alps. Veronica, donning a Team Varchie T-shirt, agrees and together with Josie, they confront Penelope about Cheryl’s whereabouts. Penelope “confesses” Cheryl was exhibiting disturbing and deviant behavior, so she was forced to send her away to a mental facility. She even produces a drawing of Josie and Cheryl as evidence that Cheryl has been stalking Josie earlier in the season. Josie’s clearly freaked out and bails, but that doesn’t deter V and T. (That doesn’t have the same ring as B & V).
Nana Rose tips off Toni that Cheryl is nearby “with the sisters” and Kevin confirms the Sisters of Quiet Mercy still engage in conversion therapy. He also happens to know about an old prohibition tunnel that leads right into the convent. Veronica, clad in a Foxy Cleopatra-like catsuit and Toni stage a rescue. Choni share a kiss in front of the “why gay people are bad” video and get Cheryl out of there before the Sisters catch up to them. I certainly hope Cheryl hasn’t gone back to Thistlehouse…
Elsewhere, the authorities have discovered the missing car Bughead pushed in the river and the Cooper/Jones clans are sweating bullets worried about what this might mean for the inconvenient dead body they hid. Chic, in an attempt to “help,” contacts the girlfriend of the dead guy to see if she knows anything. Darla doesn’t care what happened to her boyfriend, but she’ll most definitely keep her mouth shut for $10,000. Alice sends Betty to the bank and while she’s gone, the manager from the motel Chic was living at shows up too. Betty returns home with the money and the Serpents in tow. This leads Alice to make peace with where she comes from and the people she’s shunned for years. She also makes Chic move out.
Archie. Honestly, I don’t even want to discuss this storyline because it’s just so terrible from all angles. Hiram is the worst mobster in creation, hinging his entire business on his daughter’s teenage boyfriend. Archie dives deeper and deeper into obscurity every week. This week he’s playing enforcer, which includes besides pummeling Agent Fake Name, planting a car bomb, and enlisting the wrestling team to act as Hiram’s muscle against a pair of rival mob bosses. At least Mary reads him for filth the second week in a row when he’s too busy sticking his head up Hiram’s ass to show up to his father’s Mayoral candidacy announcement.
Riverdale has felt a little exhausting since it’s return from hiatus. If I could offer some pearls of wisdom to the creative team for Season 3 (renewal is pending but I’m sure it’s coming), I would implore them to slow down the narrative. It feels like a lot of the story has been rushed through this season. Cheryl’s story should have been paced better from the beginning and built to this moment. Please show us more teenage drama within the school, incorporating Josie, Reggie, and Kevin. Give us smaller character moments. And please give Archie back his dumb guitar and get him out of the mob.