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Thankfully we all survived a week without Revenge. As we prepare for this week’s brand new episode, let’s take a look back at last week’s predictable offering.
Warning: This may be the most confusing episode recap of all time thanks to the real Emily Thorne/Amanda Clarke/Kara Wilkins/Psychotic Stripper.
Thankfully we all survived a week without Revenge. My bitterness with the CMA’s faded away during the opening of the award show because Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood were awesome hosts. (Yes, that has nothing to do with Revenge, but I just wanted you to know that if you were sitting in the corner all bitter that it wasn’t on, you missed an awesome award show.)
Now, was it just me or was this a fairly predictable episode?
Like every person who knows a secret and gets in an accident on television, Lydia has forgotten the last few weeks, yet remembers the photograph where she saw Emily. Victoria has taken her in to keep her quiet should she remember what actually happened, spawning accusations between her and Conrad that Lydia overhears. This is why you don’t argue in a house the size of a castle with big rooms and hallways that echo.
Like every rich son who leaves determined to show his parents he can make it on his own, Daniel returns as the prodigal son much to Tyler’s dismay, who has now set his eyes on Queen Victoria in hopes of getting in with Conrad.
Like every girl that sleeps with a psychopath, Ashley is turning on her closest friend because Tyler’s I’m a poor boy, who wants to take from the rich bit turns her on. Anyone else totally grossed out by their relationship? Or annoyed that she’s so bitter toward Emily? If she needed a place to stay, money, or anything, I have a feeling Emily would give it to her. What’s your deal, Ashley? Are you just another con trying to gain connections in the Hamptons and failing miserably?
Like every other attempt, Declan tried to plan a date on the boat and failed yet. Just give it up already, kid. This is the only story I could care less for on the show. Yes, Charlotte and Declan are cute, but that girl is one drug abuse/drinking problem/teenage pregnancy away from acting out all her parental issues. I just can’t deal with it.
And like every smart person who isn’t a detective, Nolan sees the blood on the jacket and later connects the crazy stripper to Frank’s murder, leading to an awesome delivery of the line, “I’m not built for prison time.” And naturally, the crazy, murdering stripper that was given a new identity and told to leave town isn’t going anywhere. She’s too in love with our Emily Thorne to waste her time in Paris.
Now, I’m not saying this wasn’t a great episode. This show couldn’t be disappointing if it tried. The majority of it may have been predictable, but it was still had many highlights.
Queen Victoria and Conrad going against each other throughout the hour was very entertaining. They have each managed to put the blame of Lydia’s accident on the other. Conrad is striking me as far colder than Victoria will ever be. Frank’s death is a convenience in his eyes, while it hurts his wife and shows that little bit of humanity that makes her so worthy of rooting for.
Amanda Clarke/Crazy Stripper’s adoration for Emily is beyond creepy and interesting. Was anyone else waiting for to confess her undying love and beg her to run away with her? The flashbacks did a great job of explaining their history. Emily was there when Amanda had no one, which worked in Emily’s favor. All it took was a half million dollars to secure her identity.
The only dynamic I like about Amanda staying in town, whom I assume we’ll call Kara now – See? This is confusing – is that she’s taken to Jack. Apparently, Emily talked about Jack a lot when they were locked up together and Kara, and he has lived up to his expectations. Let’s be real though. How unattractive was Jack’s reaction to her? She is 1) not as attractive as Emily, 2) needs to keep her clothes, and 3) needs to steer clear of Jack.
Geez, even I am getting jealous, which means Emily is bound to, and that is not good when she is supposed to be in love with Daniel.
Speaking of the hottest rich boy in the Hamptons, he shined this episode. When Emily relayed her history, he was so comforting and sweet without batting an eye. He stood up to his mama, choosing Emily over her conniving ways, which cut right through her. Victoria loves her son so much that it’s scary sometimes. I actually felt bad when he told her she lost the last person on her side, but then I realized he would be shacked up with Emily for constant sexy time, and I felt better.
This week ended with a handful of dun, dun, dun moments.
First, Kara watching them through the window of Emily’s house, a definite bad sign, probably worse than Emily sneaking out of bed to dispose of Frank’s phone and Daniel being awake when she got back in. We already know they get engaged, so it can’t be that much of an issue. I am just telling myself Daniel looked like that because he was ready for a round of sex Emily up roughly.
Tyler stalking Victoria through the window blinds. Only a really psychopath will take the time to go through a box of shredded information and put a single piece of paper back together. Tyler, I’m getting tired of you.
Lastly, a crazy, murdering stripper with a new identity walks into a bar and…
Well, we’ll have to tune in next week to see what happens. For now, let me know what you thought about this week’s episode and more important if you’re Team Jack or Team Daniel.
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