‘Scandal’ Review: “Molly, You in Danger, Girl”

In Thursday’s episode of Scandal, “Molly, You in Danger, Girl,” Olivia’s team looked for a mistake in one of their old cases, realizing an error could put them in grave danger. Meanwhile, Olivia and Jake’s relationship progressed (and boy did it); and Fitz and Mellie’s marriage hit a new low point.

WHAT IN THE HELL IS SHONDA TRYING TO DO TO MY EMOTIONS!?!  I gasped out loud at least 3 times in the last 60 seconds of the show and not in a good way… more of a, “Oh shit!” kind of way. Turns out, Osborne wasn’t a traitor, just a gambler who couldn’t pick the right horse. Once this comes out, all kinds of hell breaks loose.

Here’s my thoughts/comments/advice to everyone for the week:

David Rosen – go ask Olivia for a contract and the hall closet to use as your new office.

Abby – you still love David, go find another desk to show him.

Harrison – you are lovely and smart and probably smell really good. I’d say more but I’d just embarrass myself.

James – You married Cyrus, warts and all.  He loves you and you love him, even if he bought you off with a baby. Figure it out and accept that you both made some shady decisions. Welcome to being human. (Hats off once again to the writers for a fabulous scene between Jeff Perry and Dan Bucatinsky. It was reminiscent of the naked yelling scene that deserves an Emmy a few weeks ago.)

Cyrus – I don’t know what new shady shit you’ve pulled with Charlie as your evil worker bee AGAIN but if it turns out you’re responsible for Huck rocking in a corner, I give Huck permission for you to be the therapy doll he dismembers. Also, bet you didn’t see that murder confession coming from Fitz…

Huck – I don’t know why you keep getting water boarded, knocked out, having your beloved family murdered but you rock in that corner as long as you need to.  I don’t even care if you need to go murder couple of people to get your mojo back…:cough:: JaketheSnake ::cough::.

Quinn – I can’t believe I’m saying this, but “WAY TO GO!!” You’re growing up to be a pretty good baby spy and you didn’t give up on finding Huck.  I think I’m starting to like you.

Mellie – you’re complicated and you have some serious issues concerning what love is, but then again so does your husband and his girlfriend.  You are a rockstar when the cameras are on, and I think somewhere in your heart you kinda love Fitz, but you let your sociopathic self get in the way.  Also, even I said “ouch” when your husband said “we’ve been doing this circus act for 20 years, we’ll be fine.” I think you need boy toy on the side. It’s going to be a long second term for you otherwise.

Olivia – Stop watching the love of your life on TV, it’s like ripping the scab off every single time it’s starting to heal. Also, it’s how every girl ends up in bed with a new guy trying to get over the old guy. The screaming you hear a la Silence of the Lambs was Olitz fans throwing themselves off buildings after witnessing her steamy love-scene. I semi-forgive you for your bad decisions because it’s Scott Foley, and who doesn’t want to end up in bed with him. It’s what happens to you when you finally get that glass of water and it shatters on the floor that makes me want to stab your new boyfriend. Also, even without the concussion I’m confused as to what in the holy hell is going on, so it’s ok for you to need a minute.

Jake the Snake – You put your hands on Olivia and pushed her so hard you knocked her out. I realize you saved her from whoever was in the ski mask with a gun in her house but no, sir, you don’t get to physically hurt her.  And I see you just realized that your friend Fitz has more than a little personal interest in Liv, welcome to the party.  Once Fitz hears you slept with his women, you’re going to have a nice long nap alongside Verna.

Fitz – are you starting to morph back into a human being again? Granted, you were harsh on Mellie but in a truth speaking way, not just to be mean like the last month. See what happens when you aren’t BFF’s with scotch, you’re tolerable.  Nice words of encouragement to Cy when he’s dealing with his marriage to James.  Nice of you to remember he’s in your corner, well, kinda.  You also had me swoony at the “Hi” to Olivia in the hospital, don’t be an ass in three weeks and make me want to punch you in the throat for something new.

I still have no idea who the mole is and I have tons of questions I need answers. Who Jake is working for (or if that’s plural, people). If Jake is the mole, why is he the mole? Who hit Huck? Why does Jake have crazy eyes? Why is no one overly concerned when Olivia doesn’t answer her phone? When did Quinn turn into such a bad ass? Why is Shonda screwing with my emotions? When will Olivia & Fitz reunite? Oh my god I have so many questions!

We have three weeks to recover y’all. Three weeks to process what we saw on Scandal and prepare for our emotions to be toyed with yet again. Good luck with that.