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‘Pretty Little Liars’ Recap: Who nearly drowned in the lake? Who’s back on the market?

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Photo Credit: ABC Family

In tonight’s brand new Pretty Little Liars, ‘Into the Deep,’ the girls celebrated Emily’s birthday, but it ended with some broken hearts and a body floating in the lake.

Tonight, Mona maintained her HBIC status when she continued to lie about murdering Wilden. Her motive: he was going to kill her and he was threatening and he was just plain, old mean. Also, he was worried Garrett was going to tell the truth about the night Ali died, which she only knows because she snuck out of Radley. The detective was all aghast that she snuck out of a mental institution, but Mona was just like…

Mona gets out of jail later, packs a duffel bag, tells Hanna she’s welcome and heads back to Radley to get some clarity in her twisted little mind.

Now while the detectives have their reservations about her confession, it was enough to get Ashley out on bail. This doesn’t mean Ashley is off entirely. The trial will move forward, but Ashley can come home on a million dollar bail. ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK FOR YOU, ASHLEY.

Or rather, almost. (I just wanted to make an Orange is the New Black reference, okay?) Ashley’s super Christian, ex-boyfriend saw Hanna upset over the bail. Ashley was free no sooner than she could ask him to rob the collection plates at church. As if that’s not weird enough, he basically pops over right after she’s out of jail. They eat divine pie that’s blessed by baby Jesus and he promises he doesn’t think she killed Wilden. (So I now believe that he heard the voice of God and had to save Ashley and her child from the demonic Wilden and killed him for Ashley.)

Meanwhile, Paige got Emily a super exciting birthday present – and no, I don’t mean birthday sex. She got her an appointment with an Olympic medalist swim coach, who was all SWIMMING IS YOUR LIFE AND YOU WILL NEVER HAVE FUN AGAIN, EMILY… until he found out about her shoulder injury. Interest instantly lost.

Also, Paige threw Emily a “private” party, which just happened to be the entire school. You’d think since Paige knows about A, she’d be less anxious to throw a party. The girls want Shana there because they overheard her Jenna freaking out to her about finding out where someone is. Naturally that person is Alison. Or A. Or like Jenna’s mother. Best detectives ever.

Emily is too upset that Paige lied to the swim coach to enjoy her birthday party. Her life will never be the same and Paige has unrealistic expectations of her swimming with her, so they might as well break up because they won’t make it to college together.

Yay, it’s a frickin’ Emily pity party.

Meanwhile, Ezra is up to his ears in baby’s mama drama. Maggie aka Alex Mack is going to grad school at the University of Washington because getting her masters is important for her and Malcom. I fully agree, but I’m so bitter that she basically stole my life dream (including having sex with Ezra Fitz and having his baby). Ezra’s eyebrows were really upset that she was planning on moving across country, so he suggested that Malcom stay there with him and then Alex Mack’s eyebrows got upset. SO MUCH EMOTING IN ONE SCENE.

Ezra isn’t the only one having relationship drama. Aria has no idea how to feel about Jake. One second she’s drooling over his hot body. The next she’s pushing away. Two seconds after that she’s in jealous rage over a blonde. She’s like a walking Taylor Swift song.

Just when I was begging Jake to define his feelings for Aria, he did… and it turns out that he’s turned on by jealousy. Crazy girls have the best luck with relationships. I hate them all.

Later, Shana drags Jenna, who is so over these girls, to Emily’s party. Poor Jenna is so totally blind now and after all that hum-drum about her getting a surgery to see. Aria confronts her about what she overheard, but it was basically nothing… or rather we’ll never know because Paige interrupted with cake. No one wants your friggin’ cake, Paige. No one.

Outside Emily is walking by the lake in the dark (stupid choice considering the whole A factor, who is suddenly irrelevant and not screwing with people this episode, so maybe Emily is A), wallowing in her failed career as a swimmer and permanent singledom when she sees a body floating in the lake… AND IT’S JENNA.

Spencer rushed to the hospital and asked Shana who Jenna is so afraid. She’s all stunned to hear Shana say that Alison is dead. It’s like she expected her to confess she had Ali on speed dial. Anyway, Shana says Jenna is afraid of CeCe Drake, so it looks like that trick will be coming to town… Cue, Red Coat breaking into a house. Meanwhile, Mona is settling in at Radley and Toby’s going to be getting some scary sheet music from A.

What did you think about tonight’s episode? Who do you think killed Wilden? Why is Jenna afraid of CeCe? Leave your thoughts in the comments below and I’ll see you here next week!

Amber Cunigan
Amber Cunigan is a sarcastic mid-twenties undergrad, extreme book hoarder, Netflix addict, and reality TV aficionado. She enjoys excessive amounts of chocolate and caffeine, tweeting, and all things Ezra Fitz and Ryan Gosling. When it comes to TV, she expects to be thoroughly entertained and when not, she will slam and mock you, but still tune in next week. She's a glutton for punishment. Basically, she's awesome.

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