More Cooper secrets are revealed, Ethel goes Mean Girls, Jugheads’ on a hunger strike, Archie’s still an idiot, and Cheryl is losing her mind? Let’s dive into this week’s Riverdale Recap for “Chapter 29: Primary Colors”.
Riverdale Recap: “Chapter Twenty-Nine: Primary Colors”
Airdate: March 21, 2018
Sherwin Shilati directed the episode written by James DeWille (#216)
Riverdale wastes no time getting right to the bottom of the Chic Cooper Blossom blood mystery as shortly after Betty confronts her brother, Alice makes a tearful confession that while Chic is her son, he isn’t Hal’s. I think we all suspected this to be the case considering the outright disdain Hal has for the kid and the heavy handed hints of a past between FP and Alice. A past which Alice confirms, though swears there’s no way FP is Chic’s dad. So basically, it’s pretty much 99.9% certain that FP is in fact Chic’s father. Betty is still fraught and determined to get rid of Chic, even going so far as to threaten him with a Zippo lighter and remind him every “bad man” she’s gone after is now dead. By the end of the episode, Betty has determined she can no longer stay in the same house as Chic and asks Jughead if she can bunk with him at the trailer. Looks like Chic’s plan to have Mommy all to himself is working like a charm.
Hermione is hot on the campaign trail and that includes doing an interview with Hal for the paper while her good friend Andy Cohen from Bravos’ Watch What Happens Live makes an appearance to endorse his old gal pal. This was a bizarre and completely irrelevant cameo but sure, its cool. Archie, the Lodge’s best cheerleader, isn’t too excited when he finds out Fred plans to sever all ties with the Lodge’s and is backing out of the SoDale project. He’s even called Mary to come home and help work out the details of him breaking his contracts; a move which seems to piss Archie off since he love love loves Hiram and all, so its so delightfully satisfying when Mary rips him a new one at the dinner table for being disrespectful to his father all in the great name of Hiram Lodge. I still don’t see much chemistry between Molly Ringwald and Luke Perry, but I sure did love hearing her lay out what a great man Fred is and how much he’s sacrificed to put a roof over their heads and food on the table for their ungrateful offspring.
Riverdale High served us perfectly awesome teenage drama this week as Shannon Purser returned as Ethel Muggs. Still miffed about the situation Hiram left her father in and the damage it did to her family and all of Riverdale, Ethel dumps a strawberry milkshake all over Veronica’s head! A milkshake, Betty points out, she carried all the way from Pop’s. Veronica resolves to take the high road while unrealistically removing the milkshake from her hair with a paper towel. Ethel dumped that clear over her head, in reality Veronica would have need a shower and a change of clothes, but I digress. Upon leaving the bathroom, B & V run into Reggie who’s hanging up posters announcing his candidacy for Student Body President. He gets snarky with Veronica and she promptly decks him right in the face knocking him out. This stuff was so fun and such a delightful departure from masked murderers and cabin break ins, lets have more of this.
Hiram and Hermione want Veronica to keep a low profile amidst the milkshake/fist fighting activities of her day, but she does the complete opposite deciding to run for Student Body President herself with Betty as her running mate. Trying to do her best Blair Waldorf, Veronica uses her connection to Andy Cohen to entice Josie to endorse her at school despite their recent issues. Josie agrees and together they sing a song at a school assembly. What Veronica doesn’t know is Josie is playing her. Josie spills all the tea to Ethel who distributes Veronica Liar handouts to everyone at the assembly detailing how Veronica knew about all of her parents machinations. Betty is so upset with her friend, she trusted Veronica and thought she was telling the truth when she said she knew nothing about her parents trying to tear down Southside High. Betty backs out of the race and it looks like our girls B&V are on the outs again.
Archie and Jughead aren’t doing much better considering Archie’s head is so far up Hiram’s ass you can’t tell where he ends and Hiram begins. Jughead, ever the social justice warrior, decides to go on a hunger strike to protest the demolition of Southside High. He enlists his Serpent friends and they chain themselves to the outside of the school. Hiram cannot have this and he enlists Archie to go there and break it up. Archie obliges with the caveat that Hiram release Fred from all his Lodge dealings and so with the help of the wrestling team, Archie cuts Jughead and his friends free in a sea of protestors. Jughead warns Archie that while Hiram may have won the day, all of these people can see what he’s doing and this fight is far from over. This experience inspires Jughead to run against Veronica for Student Body President and Betty is going to be his running mate. Looks like the core four are back to being on opposite sides of the fence.
Over at Thistlehouse, things are getting even more Shakespearean than normal as Cheryl is having her very own Hamlet-esque paranoia that her mother and Uncle Claudius are trying to get rid of her and Nana Rose. She’s so distressed that she invites her “inner circle” for a sleepover that includes Betty, Veronica, Josie, and Toni. She confides in them in her most dramatic Cheryl way. She and Cousin Betty share a bonding moment as neither young lady currently feels safe in their home. Cheryl’s suspicions are confirmed when Nana Rose takes a topple down the staircase. Sitting vigil by her grandmothers bedside, Cheryl learns the doctor found a trace of a paralytic toxin in Nana Rose’s bloodstream which Penelope and Uncle Claudius claim she’s been chewing the greenhouse. Penelope shows up to bring Cheryl home and when Cheryl confronts her mother on her suspicions, Penelope responds with “you have lost your mind, you leave us no choice”, dragging Cheryl off to what I assume is the Sisters of Quiet Mercy who are going to administer conversion therapy on Cheryl for her impure thoughts. When Cheryl doesn’t show up to school, Toni goes to Thistlehouse to look for her. Penelope slams the door in her face telling Toni that Cheryl has gone to boarding school.
Kevin is all the place this episode, first he’s getting a meet and greet with Andy Cohen over at Veronica’s, then he and Josie are looking on with delight as Veronica gets a milkshake poured over her head, and finally even though we’ve been told he’s Betty’s bestie, she finds him rubbing elbows with Chic at her house and he told Chic all about the catfishing scheme. KEVIN WTF!
Things should be heating up in Riverdale these next few weeks as the Mayoral Race pits Hermione against Fred, the Student Body Race pits Veronica against Jughead, and Toni searches for answers about Cheryl’s whereabouts. Oh and let’s not forget creepy Chic is now all alone in the house with Alice!